Post # 1
So my best friend who was supposed to be my Maid/Matron of Honor has pulled out of the wedding. It’s a destination wedding and she is struggling with some medical issues, so she is not able to travel. I cried, I was super disappointed, but I understand and don’t hold any grudges towards her. HOWEVER… I am not sure what to do with my wedding party.
Initially, we were going to have just a Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man because I don’t have a lot of close friends, so I didn’t want to have bridesmaids, especially since this is a destination wedding, I didn’t want to ask one of my friends and make them feel obligated to attend. But, now that my Maid/Matron of Honor has pulled out, we’re left with a lopsided wedding party and I’m just not sure what to do… 🙁
I know Fiance would really love to have his best friend be his Best Man, but I don’t think there’s anyone else I’d want as my Maid/Matron of Honor. I also would feel awkward asking one of my other few female friends to be my Maid/Matron of Honor because we’re not close enough to warrant that. I guess I could have my brother (whom I am close to) stand in as my Man of Honour, but I don’t know how that would look and I don’t want people to judge me or pass comments about it. Another option would be to not have a wedding party at all, and just have FI’s best friend give a speech at the reception.
Wedding planning has really brought out a lot of insecurities for me re: friends (I wasn’t allowed to hang out with people that much growing up so I’ve had trouble making friends as an adult), so I think I’m being extra sensitive about this… but I just don’t know what to do 🙁
Has anyone been in this situation before? Any advice on what to do?
Post # 2
How about having your mother standing with you, then it wouldn’t look lopsided?
Post # 3
I would have my brother, if I were you.
Post # 4
Why would people judge you or make comments about you having your brother stand with you? Your wedding party is supposed to be those that love and support you. I see nothing wrong with having him (or your mother) beside you on your day.
Post # 5
My Maid/Matron of Honor backed out of my wedding 1.5 months before my wedding, I ended up asking another bridesmaid to sign for us. Not necessarily be the Maid/Matron of Honor, but sign for us. That’s all you really need, you can ask your mom or brother or anyone who will be there who you love to sign for you. They don’t even have to stand up with you, I’ve been to weddings where just the bride and groom were standing up then the witnesses would join when it was time to sign the papers and then they would sit down again.
I would still encourage your FH to have his friend, do if you wanted your brother I would think that would be really nice. They just need to witness your union, not gender specific.
Post # 6
I went to a wedding where the bride just had her brother, and people thought it was sweet.
Post # 7
hermionegranger : if someone’s going to say things about your brother standing next to you, it’s really on them.
Post # 8
I would ask my brother if I were you.
Post # 9
I had both my brothers stand with me. It wasn’t weird and no one (that I heard) made any negative comments. If you want to ask your brother, go for it!
Post # 11
I think having your brother would be really sweet and lovely! What would people judge you for?? They will think ‘how lovely that she’s so cloes to her brother and he’s there to support her!’
Post # 12
Thank you for all your comments and suggestions! To answer your questions, the reason I felt like it might look odd to have my brother is because my Fiance has mentioned a couple of times that traditionally the bride’s side is girls and groom’s side is guys for the wedding party… So it made me feel like he or his family would find it odd or judge me for not having enough close female friends to have a female wedding party .
Post # 13
hermionegranger : my friend who picked her brother had plenty of gal pals, but picked just her brother. I get that weddings can make people with less friends feel self conscious because it can be sort of an accounting of friends, but people don’t really think about other peoples bridal parties much
Post # 14
hermionegranger : Don’t let someone else’s closed mindedness/sexism be the reason you don’t have your brother stand with you. You are close with your brother, have a relationship where you want to honour him as your person, this is a great thing so don’t let other people’s opinion take that away from you on your wedding day. Your brother should mean more to you than people with closed minded views.
Post # 15
These days you see all kinds of bridal party combos. People will either not give your choice a second thought or they will assume you are keeping it simple and sticking to family. Lots of people choose to just have siblings even if they have loads of friends (or sometimes because they have loads of friends – they don’t want to choose). People like to see siblings that care about each other so they will just think about how nice it is.
Remember you may have lots of insecurities about your friends but other people don’t know that. They aren’t automatically looking at it through that lens the way you are.