(Closed) MOH Question

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

There’s no reason not to have two MsOH 🙂  I only had one, but my sister was an easy choice for me!

Post # 4
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

How many people total are in your bridal party?

I’m only having one, but I only have 3 girls total (1 Maid/Matron of Honor, 2 BM). I sort of think it’s a question of ratios. If you have 10 total girls and 2 are MOHs, then that works. If you have 3 total, and 2 are MOHs, that’s a little off.

I think the other question is why – especially if you’re asking halfway through. Is Maid/Matron of Honor not helping out as you expected? Is the other girl really just going above and beyond? If it’s because you’re unhappy with the other Maid/Matron of Honor, I think that could create some unneeded drama when you could just have a private conversation with the awesome Bridesmaid or Best Man and thank her for all she’s doing.

Honestly, I personally would be more likely to make NO ONE a Maid/Matron of Honor rather than have multiple ones, but it sounds like that horse is out of the barn.

You can do anything you want with your bridal party – you certainly can have two MOHs. That part isn’t that weird. I’d just be careful to make sure it wasn’t creating drama within the bridal party.

Post # 5
Hostess
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I have a friend who had three MOHs! So, whatever works for you. 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I have 2 maids of honor and 7 BMs. 

Post # 8
Member
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@soontobmrsn:  It’s your wedding and you should do whatever you want! However, I do think it might make the 3rd Bridesmaid or Best Man feel a little left out or uncomfortable that there are 2 MOHs and she’s the only Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

Post # 9
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@soontobmrsn:  If I was the third girl, the only one not with the title of Maid/Matron of Honor, I’d feel kind of second class. Only you know the people involved and how they’d receive it. In my opinion, 2 MOHs and 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man is an odd balance.

Other than what is written in the program, the title doesn’t mean much. Who do you want to have give a toast at the reception? Maybe you can honor her that way without changing her title?

It’s totally fine if you decide to do it – nothing wrong with it. It just feels off to me with 3 girls total.

Post # 10
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

i had my two sisters as my Maids of Honor. It worked great for me. Because they are my siters and they get a long very well – there weren’t any issues or agruments about who should do what, etc. But I could imagine that if you had two friends and “roles” werent’ clearly defined there is a potential for issues. 

I think do what you want and feels right to you but just make sure you lay out expectations to them (not in a bossy way but just to help with any confusion 2 Maid/Matron of Honor could cause)

Post # 12
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

My Future Sister-In-Law had 2 Maid/Matron of Honor and 3 bridesmaids.  In my experience (I was a BM) with the situation, they were both asked at the same time because she could not choose.  But when it came down to it, both Maid/Matron of Honor were always in competition, and created alot of stress on the bride.  In the end, the 2 MOHs (who were friends before) were not friends in the end, the night of the bachelorette there was all sorts of drama caused by them 2….the list goes on, they were always one upping each other.

I would think really hard and just pick one.  In the end, the main roll of the Maid/Matron of Honor is to be the witness to your marriage. HOW would you choose who gets that important job???

Personally, if I was one of the Maid/Matron of Honor and the bride chose the other one to witness the marriage, I would genuinely feel like I was just a fill in.  I would prefer to just be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 13
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

I have two sisters, one married, one single. They were my maid & matron of honor and stood with my brother on my side, and then we had a “groomsmaid” standing with 2 of DH’s guy friends on his side.

When my sister got married, she had both the other sister and me as MsOH’s. We just split up the responsibilities.

Really, though, I think that choosing a Maid/Matron of Honor should be more about honoring the person and her relationship to you than about what she can do for you. Choose the woman/women that is/are most important in your life, regardless of whether or not she/they can do a lot of logistical stuff for you.

Post # 15
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@soontobmrsn:  I understand! Its a difficult situation either way.  But really, at the end of the day, after the wedding, will it really be worth it to possibly lose your friend?  Or will you honest to goodness look back in 20 years and still regret not making your cousin a MOH? I think the safest thing to do, and not hurt feelings for any one, is to tell your cousin that you really wish you were close before you picked your Maid/Matron of Honor, but you dont want to hurt her feelings and if things were different your cousin would have been.  I am sure she would understand!

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