Post # 1
So, I made a rash decision and chose my Maid/Matron of Honor to be someone who I think was much more interested in the title then being my best friend. This is a girl I’ve known since I was in 8th grade, and whom I’ve considered a good friend since then. However – I’ve come to some harsh realizations with a few things, especially after asking her to be Maid/Matron of Honor about a month ago.
It’s a big no-no to change this decision isn’t it? I guess my Dear Fiance has had some say in this in that he just doesn’t really understand why I chose to ask her. He’s pointed out a few things that were hard for me to come to terms with. Such as, I was in her wedding as a guest book attendant, how the most I had heard from her was when I used to do her hair for free, and that she wants me to come over when it seems she has something to paint, or needs help moving her furniture around. I guess in the beginning I asked her b/c I knew that she’d be great at planning, and would be able to give me a bridal shower and bachelorette party that I’d be proud of. However … now with her newly developed singledom (after obsessing over her own wedding) and now is seperated a year later … it seems as if she has all the time in the world to go out with her new fun, partying friends, then she does to get together with me. She hasn’t really asked how the planning is going, or how our engagement shoot was, and I’ve had to initiate a text/phone call since asking.
Anyone else regretted? I still have 10 months before my wedding too!! Advice??
Post # 3
@Katiedid722: So sorry! If she can just ignore you and drop you I’d do the same her. But at least give her benift of the doubt. Tell her exactly how you feel. I am sure things will get settled and a huge weight will be lifted off of your shoulders. Friends can be greatly dissapointing sometimes.
Post # 4
I’ve dealt with Bridesmaid or Best Man regret. It sucks. Now, you and I both are stuck with the choice of either dropping the Bridesmaid or Best Man or sticking it out. It’s easier said that done to tell someone they’re “fired” from your wedding, so I’m not sure I have any solid advice. In your situation, it might be that she feels like the wedding isn’t close enough for her involvement, or something. So, wait a little while and see if she changes.
Post # 5
no advice but your Fiance has some good points. Aw I’m sorry that sucks. It would be really hard to plan wedding stuff if my own wedding had just been called off. Impossible for me personally so maybe she’d be happy to be replaced.
Post # 6
Has she done anything to really get booted from the position other than not initiating wedding talk with you? How has she been with dress shopping, showing up to wedding parties/events?
Post # 7
Well, she actually called off her marriage – after a year and a half of being married, and she couldn’t be more happier. IMO, she was in love with the wedding, but not him. So – that being said, I know she’d be pissed if she was replaced. As far as the other stuff goes, I’m not sure yet. You have a good point that maybe it’s just b/c it’s still 10 or so months away and maybe she doesn’t feel an urgency… I guess I will just give her some time. I just wish I didn’t have to feel as if I was fighting for her attention. I don’t think it should be that way, but it sounds as if there’s really no turning back now.
Post # 8
Sorry to see yet another bride having Maid/Matron of Honor issues 🙁 I know its a terrible feeling!
My Maid/Matron of Honor was not my first choice, but I asked her any way (for various reasons), and she had been super flaky for WEEKS and weeks leading up to the wedding. She could never be reached by phone, she never returned calls or texts..was just MIA and it was freaking me out because I had no idea what he progress was on dress hunting, then alterations and shoes, accessories etc, all at a month before our wedding. Then all of a sudden she surfaces and gets into the wedding swing hard. She got the whole dress buying thing taken care of (score), shoes and accesories bought (double score!) AND alterations done like 2 weeks before the wedding. She even did a great job in planning my bachelorette party (which I knew about because she needed contact info for some of my friends etc) A bunch of us gals had an amazing time in the mountains in Glenwood Springs the wkend before the wedding. THEN, 3 days before the wedding, YES THREE DAYS, she bailed out of the wedding because she was unhappy that one of my gf’s owed her $45 for their share of the bachelorette party and she was wanting me to pay it! I got the whole spew about how she would be uncomfy after all this being at the wedding with my friends, and how she felt taken advantage of and didnt get recognition for her busting her hump arranging the whole get together! Can you believe that???? Umm , isnt that the job that the Maid/Matron of Honor takes on when she says YES?? I was pretty much done with her after the whole temper tantrum over the $45, especially with the whole thing stressing me out so close to the wedding and her being so petty! I ended up asking my gf, who was actually my FIRST choice anyway. I shoulda just went with my gut and asked her in the first place. To make the situation even more funny, my Maid/Matron of Honor texts me and tries to sell me her Maid/Matron of Honor dress that she had bought! LOL! Needless to say, her and I dont talk anymore, and nope she never showed up at our wedding.
I hope things work out exactly how you want them to! Good luck!
Post # 9
@TeamMcGowan: Just…..just EW. Im so sorry!!
Post # 10
@misschickpea: Thank you 🙂 and I know right?! Over $45! I mean, if she felt she was out of some cash, I would have been fine with dealing with it and making sure she was square, but NOT 3 days before my wedding! Im thinking the gal has some issues!