posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
690 posts
Busy bee

I’m sweating on your behalf Bee.

I’d say you’re WELL within your rights here to drop out and wish her and her other bridesmaids all the best and see you at the (Royal-themed WTF!) wedding!

please do it

for you own sanity..

Post # 17
724 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

“As Maid/Matron of Honor she’s expecting me to be able to pay for my dress, my flight to Miami ( + room and board… oh, and food because we have to eat )and then the fanny packs, bracelets, necklaces, etc. because they are “gifts” to the other women“

what the what?? That is so insane! She needs a reality check pronto, I think save yourself the frustration of this mess and drop out before it gets worst 

Post # 18
7565 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Your friend is being absolutely unreasonable.  Matching fanny packs? Hell to the no.  What is even a “proposal dinner”?   wut?

As her friend, you should talk a little sense into her, and it won’t be a comfortable conversation, but it has to be done.  You need to (kindly and gently, if possible) explain that her expectations are unrealistic, and you need to help her get reacquainted with what normal people do for weddings and pre-wedding events. She may flip out on you, so you should be prepared to step down from the bridal party and attend as a guest (and be equally prepared for her to disinvite you).

Not really sure what about weddings makes some people think they can spend all of their friends’ money and occupy all of their time, but your friend sure has been drinking that kool aid lately, hasn’t she? 

Post # 19
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I’d tell her straight up what requests are reasonable and what ones aren’t and that if she doesn’t smarten up you’re out. These demands are ridiculous! 

No one should have to save for months to be in someone else’s wedding. That’s absurd.

And bridesmaids gifts are from the bride, not the Maid/Matron of Honor (while is also entitled to a gift). 

I’d tell her (not ask if it’s ok, TELL) that you will not go to Miami, you will not purchase any additional outfits or accessories beyond your own dress for the wedding (and won’t spend outside a reasonable budget of <$300 on it), you won’t be paying for any part of the bachelorette party beyond your own personal expenses, and that if this is not acceptable to her then you will have to bow out and attend as a regular guest. 

Post # 25
9151 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
seauxposhmamita :  Back out now, bee. It will only get worse, guaranteed. She hasn’t even started on the shower yet or rehearsal dinner. She’ll probably want you to pay for massages for everyone the day of, plus you know she’s not going to let you do your own hair and makeup like some non-royal peasant, right? Nuh uh. Get out while you can.

Post # 26
10221 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
seauxposhmamita :  

I would back out of  this right away OP , far too expensive and time consuming and  just plain  too hard for a single mum I would  have thought. Get out now , and go as a guest . 

I cannot imagine what she means by a ‘royal themed’ wedding . Elegant, sleeved,  rather plain-but-couture dress ? In a cathedral ?  Many young bridal attendants in white  ?  Understated white embossed invitations ? 

A woman who plans  “a stripper (of course), a party bus, clubbing, and then she wants us all to buy matching bathing suits, tee shirts, bracelets and necklaces” is not , imho,  likely to really have  a good idea of what a ‘royal themed’ wedding actually is . Bet she thinks it ‘s about lots of bling topped off with a big ‘ol gypsy crown . 

Post # 27
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Rule of thumb: if the bride cares what you wear or how you look, she pays for it. Period.

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