(Closed) MOH selection

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you need to think about how you would feel if she isn’t standing next to you on your day.  Then decide if it is worth hashing out, or moving forward with another selection.  It sounds like you have been ‘sisters’ your entire life, and this recent change in her life has her focusing on other things.  That is understandable, but I also see your point.  Think about how it would affect your day if she is not by your side, and then make a decision.

Post # 4
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It stinks when relationships change and no matter how hard you fight to salvage a friendship, the other person is not receptive. 

That being said, I would highly recommend asking your brother to be your Man of Honor. You know that he will always be apart of your life, so 50 years from now when you’re looking back at your pictures you won’t regret having him there. 

I have no sisters and a great group of guy friends, but not very many close girl friends, so I chose to have my two brothers stand up for me. They have known me longer than anyone else and I didn’t have to deal with any of the drama that comes with choosing girls who you’re not especially close to just to fill an imaginary quota. It was the best decision I could have made!

Post # 5
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I agree with CanAmBride. It is incredibly hard when friendships change and priorities shift. A dear friend asked her highschool bff to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, and almost instantly regretted the decision. the truth was, the friendship had been on life support for a while. Adding wedding planning into the mix only strained the friendship more. my friend ended up canceling her wedding party plans completely, and asked her brother to stand with her. Things worked out okay in the end, but it was a lot of drama and stress that she could have avoided. The good part about family is that they will always be there. I think you should acknowledge that your friendship isn’t what it used to be and ask your brother. otherwise, you’ll be trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, and creating a lot of frustration and disappointment for yourself in the process.

Post # 6
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@lovekiss:My thoughts exactly! I had a “best friend” all through highschool and college. When we graduated, our lives started taking us in different directions but we kept trying to hold onto the friendship. A few years later, things were getting serious with my now Darling Husband, and somehow my future wedding came up in conversation. She made a comment like “I can’t wait to be your MOH” and all I could think is “really? Because I don’t picture us being friends that long”. When I told her that I wasn’t planning on having ANY bridesmaids, it lead to a huge fight (yet another indication that the friendship was over). It officially ended soon after.

When I actually did get married, there were several parts during the planning process that i thought of her, but more in a “this would have been a lot more difficult if she were involved” sort of way…

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