(Closed) MOH (sister) totally ditching my wedding for a friends! What to do?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@JM1217: Why doesn’t she call a cab to take her to the airport? Then she’s the only one super inconvenienced by attending 2 weddings in 1 weekend.

Post # 4
Member
46380 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I see room for compromise here, as in many situations.

I think it is reasonable for your sister to feel she wants and needs to be at both weddings.

Is there anyone else who could take her to the airport so your parents can feel free to have a good time at your wedding?

How far away is the airport? Can she take a taxi or an airport shuttle?

Post # 5
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@JM1217:

Let ur sis no that family is 4ever and that her friend’s wedding is AFTER urs and she needs to take her responsibility.. n if she continues choose ur lil sis. Its ur day not something to be stressed about some1’s silly behaviour (i.e SIS FRIEND) Talk to her and let urself get de-stressed. Good luck.

Post # 6
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Obviously your sister is very close to this girl and it means a lot to be at both your wedding and her friends wedding. Is it possible for her to take a cab to the airport so your parents don’t have to.

As someone who isn’t always close to my family (although I only have a brother) – I understand the need to be close with friends since they can be as important as family especially when you live far away form your own. I don’t think your sister is trying to ruin your wedding – I think she is just trying her hardest to be in two places at once.

Post # 7
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

If shes leaving the next day I dont see the problem. Its up to your parents if they want to drive her to the airport, if they dont then she will have to make other arrangements.

Post # 8
Member
1830 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Who is this ‘friend’ of your sister?!  My goodness, I would never expect any friend of mine to choose my wedding over their sister’s wedding!   Sounds like that friend needs to get over herself a bit – in my book, family always comes first, but that may be just me.  

In regards to your situation, as PP said, have your sister take a cab to the airport.  As long as she’s there for your wedding, so be it.  It’s not your problem if she’s tired/hungover/whatever the next day.  She’ll be there for your wedding and beyond that, it’s not your problem!   

Is your sister in the other wedding?  Regardless, it’s still not your problem.  Go ahead and plan everything the way you want it and it’s up to her to sort out the details of how she’s going to make both.  And she most certainly should not be inconveniencing others to drive her to the airport!

Post # 9
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think your title is way misleading. She’s not ditching your wedding.

@Julie1949’s response is almost exactly what I was going to say. If none of those alternatives will work, then let it go. She’s not “ruining” anything, especially if you’re not that close to her in the first place. Lots of couples get up 5 hours after their reception to leave for their honeymoon, and I don’t think that means they sacrifice fun at their wedding. If your parents choose to help your sis, there’s no reason to think they still won’t have an amazing time at your wedding.

Post # 11
Member
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@JM1217:

Well, if she doesn’t want to spend money for a cab, does she have another friend that can bring her to the airport?  Your parents should get to enjoy your wedding as long as they want to.

Post # 12
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

how is it “her role to be there after the wedding”?  she isn’t ditching your wedding.  i think your sister is being an amazing sister and friend by making both work. 

as for tipping the servers and band, never heard of a maid of honor doing that before, but exactly why can’t she do that if she is leaving the next morning?

Post # 13
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That is just how it works in my family, I don’t know how things work in yours.

Well, in my family, I wouldn’t expect my sister to block off the entire day after my wedding to drive gifts to my house. My sister is my maid of honor as well, and I am understanding that she has a life outside of my wedding day. I love her, want her to be happy, and would respect her decision. Then again . . . I have a great relationship with my sis and have never known her to “eff” things up, ruin special moments, or be selfish.

A maid of honor’s role is to stand by your side (literally, figuratively) and support you on the day of your wedding, which it sounds like she would still be doing.

I stand by my response.

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