- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2016
Ok, looking for some Maid/Matron of Honor advice. I am really torn about who should be my Maid/Matron of Honor. A bit of a backstory is needed here…..
My sister and I were always very close growing up. She is 7 years older than me, but we always hung out together, she let me tag along everywhere. In 2003 I was married for the first time. She was obviously no doubt my choice for my Maid/Matron of Honor. After getting married, I moved 400 miles away. We would chat, she would visit once a year, I would visit once a year. After 7 years of an extremely emotionally and mentally damaging marriage, I get the courage to leave. I have no money and I still am living 400 miles away from my ENTIRE family. I have no family near me and even had to sleep the first few nights in my car because I had no where to go. My sister never called, never visited. My mother visited me 4 months after I left him, but it would be 2 years before anyone in my family visits me again.
During all this, I make a friend. She listens to everything I had to go through with my ex, supports me emotionally, helps build my confidence back up and helps me to believe what an amazing person I am. She is the person who would hug me when I was crying, encourage me whenever I doubted myself or argue with me when blamed myself for how he treated me.
Then 2 years after leaving him, I meet an absolutely amazing guy. He loves me unconditionally and has never ever once said anything demeaming to me. Now, 3 years after meeting him we are engaged and planning our wedding for next spring.
Now that I am in a more financially stable place in my life, I have been back to visit my family a few times, and my sister and I seemed to have bonded a bit more. But she still has not visited me since the last time 6 years ago. She says its because of money, but to give an idea, her income tax return last year was equal to my annual salary. Now that I am engaged, the expectation is that she will be my Maid/Matron of Honor. But I really feel my friend is, in actuallity, the female that supports me through everything and the person who should be standing by my side.
I don’t want to hurt my sister. I don’t know what to do.
Sorry so long, thank you for reading 🙂