(Closed) MOH stepped down :'-(

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

firstly I’m sorry this happened to you.  Bridesmaids seem to forget sometimes that there’s a person behind the bride and she should never have accepted the honour if she wasnt going to follow it through.  The least she owed you was to sit you down and to discuss your friendship. 

I think you should tell her to step down, there’s enough time before the wedding for you to fix your friendship from this, but she shouldn’t be your maid of honour.  A guest at best for her insensitive treatment of you.

The plus side is that you have a year, you don’t need to make any immediate decisions about a replacement.  Take a couple of months to process whats happened – I’m sure you have some supportive friends around you who can guide you.

I found it hard to choose a Maid/Matron of Honor so I didn’t pick one.  I have 5 bridesmaids and my brother is my official witness (filling in for my Moh).  Perhaps you could do something similar.

One thing I know is that everything will be alright in the end, if it’s not alright then it’s not the end – my nana’s words 🙂

Post # 4
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Why would you want a Maid/Matron of Honor who didn’t want to be your MOH? She’s not saying you’re not friends at all, or that she doesn’t value what you all did have, but in her eyes you don’t have it anymore. She thinks you deserve someone who you’re that close to to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, and she’s right!

My high school best friend always said we would be in each others wedding too. Except that for the past two years we’ve barely been friends. We’re still friendly, but we don’t have the kind of connection that I think equals bridesmaid. I’m sure she is upset that I didn’t ask her to be in the wedding party, but you can’t force a relationship that isn’t there anymore. 

Post # 5
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@manutd1125:  I’m sorry this happened to you.

I dont have a Maid/Matron of Honor. I have 4 bridesmaids and it’s fine, my fiance still has a best man. There are a number of reasons I dont have a Maid/Matron of Honor but it’s not a big deal. Keep your bridal party as is, and invite this girl as a guest.

Post # 6
Member
4439 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

I agree with rangersbride, you don’t necessarily need an Maid/Matron of Honor and have plenty of time to make the decision if you decide you want to promote one of your current Bridesmaid or Best Man or add someone new.

Maybe your Maid/Matron of Honor thought that if you guys were already too busy to talk as frequently as she felt would keep you friends that would only continue and compound until Oct. 2013.  (Not that it doesn’t sound like you put in a great effort to keep in touch)  It would be hard for her to plan from that far away, you say everything is planned but are your shower, rehearsal and bachelorette party already planned too?  SHe’d be integral in those and they’re also things she would have to travel for!

So she does have a lot more invested than a $150 dress, but at the same time she has plenty of time to save for those expenses.

IMO, if that’s how she feels it’s probably good that she stepped down otherwise the stress would have just built up until the wedding and this could have happened much sooner to your wedding date!  I’m sorry you lost a friend and hope you too can come back from this but I’d leave her out of the wedding talk and planning for now until the main problem is fixed.  Sounds like she needs a lot of attention!

P.S. What is it that she didn’t think you were happy enough for her about?  That part seemed odd to me!

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