- 5 years ago
We’ve all heard of the classic “Bridezilla”, but what about a “Bridesmaidzilla”? What do you do when helpful ideas go a little out of control?
My best friend is my Maid/Matron of Honor, I love her to pieces, she has a big beautiful personality, she’s confident and she says it like it is; she was the first person I thought of when I got engaged to my wonderful fiancée. The only problem is that we seem to have very different ideas about how I should get married and she’s not one who will take “no” for an answer.
To put it into perspective: My fiancée and I are quiet, romantic geeks and we want or wedding to reflect that. We want a non-religious ceremony, preferably in the gardens of a nice manor or a gallery; overall we want this to be a small, relaxed, romantic affair with little personal touches. Even our colour pallette is soft with blush pink, ivory and silver/grey; sticking to flowing fabrics like chiffon, and pearls instead of diamonties. We’re also both women and we both want to wear dresses, my fiancée wants to wear ivory and I’d like a light blush dress (which my Maid/Matron of Honor already said it was a stupid idea and would stop it looking like a real wedding).
My Maid/Matron of Honor on the other hand wants us to wear stark white dresses, get married at the top of a skyscraper (my fiancée is deathly afraid of heights), wants bright colours such as hot pink, mint green or coral pink; she wants form-fitting corsetted dresses with plunging sweetheart necklines that are covered in swarovski crystals and ruffles to show off her curves, and she has actually said that she needs to look stunning to attract a guy and “refuses to look like shes wearing a potato sack”. She’s also told me that I need to lose weight for the wedding (my fiancée and I are both plus sized and totally comfortable with our size), which was really hurtful. To put the icing on the cake, the skyscraper my Maid/Matron of Honor is insisting on is the tallest building in the southern hemisphere, and she wants to do it in a glass viewing box on the top floor that overhangs outside the building; she keeps insisting that I have to go with her to see hpw “amazing” it is so I can convince my fiancée, but she gets nauseous just standing on a ladder!
I’ve tried talking to her, both with gentle suggestions and just outright saying “no, sorry that doesn’t work for us” and sighting what I think are pretty valid reasons (like my fiancée being afraid of heights), but at best she’ll just wait a little and bring up the same suggestions again and insist that they’re perfect for us and the best thing; I’ve even tried totally avoiding the subject, but she always brings it up and insists that I need to start planning. We don’t want a flashy, showy, dramatic or bling wedding (not that there’s anything wrong with that, it just isn’t what we want for ourselves), and I want to be able to wear a wedding dress that reflects me without criticism.
My fiancée and I have talked about it at length but haven’t had any ideas, we both greatly value her input, but her suggestions are better suited to her own wedding than ours. What should we do?