Post # 1
So my Maid/Matron of Honor is out of town for the summer (she moves back home when school is done, abotu 5 hours away). I have been filling her in on the dress hunt, sending her pictures and discussing options etc.
Well I went shopping the other day with only my mom and found THE DRESS. It was perfect, I loved it and the more I look back on the pics of it the more I fall in love with it.
I send Maid/Matron of Honor an email telling her I got a dress and included a bunch of pics of me in it. She responds with “I am not going to lie, I am a little hurt you bought a dress without me”.
I don’t know what to say back??? She won’t be coming back into town for another 6 weeks. Also, I am at the point where I don’t want alot of opinions because I love the dress. If we were in the salon and she said she didn’t like something about it, it would have put a damper on the appointment. It is bought, and I am a decisive person and I just want people to be happy about it.
What do I say back to her?
Post # 3
Tell her to grow up
Maybe she wanted to have that experience with you, but just explain everything you just wrote here. If it’s the dress, it’s the dress. You can’t help who you’re with when you find it.
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s fair that she expected you to wait for her to come back. Wedding dresses can take awhile to come in so when you find the one ya kinda gotta just get it. I ordered mine back in January and it just now came in a few days ago. Sure, your wedding is happening in 2013 but still. I think you should just write back and say “I wish you could have been there and I’m sorry that you’re upset I bought my dress without you. The salon said the dress would take awhile to come in and that it was better to order it sooner rather than later.”
But, yeah, I mean you didn’t do anything wrong. It stinks that she feels hurt but maybe you guys can go to the salon together when she gets back and try the sample on so she can see?
Post # 5
It’s hard to expect that you should wait until she is in town to make decisions. It sucks but she has to face the fact that she’s an LDR Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 6
i don’t think it’s a really big deal that you bought the dress without her but with respsect, your wedding isn’t until September 2013 so what’s the rush? Wedding dresses take ages to come in, not other regular dresses
Post # 7
Maybe she’s feeling a little hurt because you went without her and she was looking forward to dress shopping with you as a bonding experience? I would try to include her in other important wedding events to try and make her feel more included, even if she is still long distance for another six weeks.
Post # 8
Tell her the experience was for you and your mom. Mom trumps moh every time!
Post # 9
“I am sorry you feel this way. I did not mean to hurt your feelings and am happy you are going to be part of my day.”
Post # 10
@missjewels: What! I understand her upsetness. The best friend always dreams of choosing THE DRESS with the bride. Thats a big moment and she wanted to be there, she could just pretend that it didn’t bother her but she chose instead to be honest with you.
Don’t take it a long way, she takes her role seriously and hoped to share the moment with you. Explain to her that you understand how she feels and that you weren’t trying to exclude her. Then ask her to help you pick something else that is important for the big day? Maybe the decor for the evening, your shoes, the bouquet?