(Closed) MOH v. Bridezilla?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
44 posts
  • Wedding: June 2008

You don’t.  She’s planning it, you let her plan it.

Post # 4
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

my Maid/Matron of Honor is the same way. she’s never even been to a wedding! i haven’t given her as much responsibility as other people have given their MOHs because of this. i just give her suggestions (in a nice way, of course) about things that she might want to think about doing. maybe do this with your shower? of course, if she doesn’t take your advice, there’s not much that you can do about it (it’s your shower, you’re not supposed to have a say in the planning).

Post # 5
75 posts
Worker bee

It is not Bridezilla to have an opinion, especially one related to the comfort and convenience of your friends and family.

It’s not clear from your post whether you have other BMs. I guess I am unique in that I did help with my sorta-shower. I only had a Maid/Matron of Honor, and I didn’t want to push all of the responsibility off on her.

Anyways, maybe you could ask her if she needs the invite list, or you could just mention that your mom/aunt/whomever told you they are worried about the timeline getting tight.

Post # 6
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I know that etiquette says the bride isn’t allowed to have a say in planning her shower, but I personally don’t see anything wrong with discussing planning and details with the host.  She’s your Maid/Matron of Honor, so she’s supposed to be close to you, so why should the topic be off-limits?

I think your concerns are legitimate, especially when it comes to travel over a holiday weekend.  It’s one thing to discuss timeline and epectations with your host, it’s another to take over control and do every detail. 

I’d suggest to have a discussion with her about it, and offer any help you can, whether it’s you or other BMs or family members.  Who knows?  She might be feeling overwhelmed and would welcome the help.  But if it sounds like she’s got it under control, then let her do her thing.

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