(Closed) MOH vent

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

…..I don’t want to say too much since this is public but I feel your pain on the Maid/Matron of Honor thing. My co-MOH (I asked 2 ladies to be Maid/Matron of Honor for me) lives several states away for school and only comes home on Christmas to Indiana. She’s been here over a week and hasn’t tried to see me. She still hasn’t met Fiance face to face! She’s met his parents/sister, but due to work and travel conflicts, has only Skyped with Fiance.

We still have a long time to go so I know I shouldn’t be upset but it frustrates me.

Post # 4
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, you need to chill out.

She had a terrible week, she has her own stuff to deal with and she made plans to do wedding stuff with you. Did you talk with her about her terrible week and be there for her as a friend?

If she would have blown you off about the other stuff I’d say yes, be a little irritated, but since she agreed to go, I say cut her some slack and adjust your expectations a bit maybe.

Post # 5
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MrsConnick: +1. Cut her some slack. She is obviously dealing with some tough things right now. 

Post # 6
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It takes two. Did you ask her about her terrible week and ask if there was anything you could do to help?

Post # 8
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@furtureffcaptwife: Like PPs said, two way street. Make sure you continue to reach out to her. I generally try to text my Maid/Matron of Honor once a day and if she doesn’t respond, then that’s on her, ya know? I’m trying, so hopefully it will be reciprocated. Keep trying! 🙂 

Post # 10
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

IMO, you are being a bit rough on her right now.  It is holiday time, and it’s not like she has totally blown you off- she wants to come to the bridal shows with you. She has her own issues right now it sounds like, and you are going to be the one most excited about your own wedding, as least she is showing interest. You’ve barely been engaged a month now, so just give her time. You can’t expect her to be there at your every beck and call.

Post # 11
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Just give her some time and if she really is your bf she’ll come around:) don’t txt or call her wait till she does it..I know sometimes excited as we are some people don’t want to hear wedding stuff all the time:) I’m sure she will come around:)

Post # 12
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I can totally see you being upset. Especially since shes not making time for you or come to see the ring, and with her having a terrible week maybe she would benefit from some girl time?  Is she single..do you think anything to do with your engagement could be uspetting to her..some single people who are normally happy being single get depressed around the holidays and then maybe talk of planning a wedding might make it worse for her. So maybe try to make plans with her that arent wedding specific just ask to do lunch or dinner anything get together..say you want to help cheer her up.. then shell get to see the ring and maybe you’ll help her week..and in person you may be able to tell if its a good time to talk wedding stuff or not.

Post # 13
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Since you’re newly engaged, I’ll be the first one to tell you this, if I may:  NO ONE is as interested in your wedding as you are.  This meaning, taking time out of a hectic schedule to come and see a ring is probably not going to be most people’s priority.  Trust me, I went through this same stuff, too.  I had to learn that no one really cared about my wedding the way I did.  Some people don’t care at all.  It sucks when it’s your bridesmaids, but it does happen. If she says she’s having a hard time right now, then you need to be supportive of her.  Don’t shove the wedding down her throat.  Ask her what is going on in HER life.  If she asks you about the wedding, feel free to gush.  If not, don’t even bring it up. 

Hey, at least you got her to agree to the bridal shows, right?

Post # 14
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you need to cut her some slack.  I don’t know that I would make a special trip to a friend’s house to look at her ring, and I would feel really weird if somebody asked me to…

Post # 15
Member
1697 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Aw I feel you. my man of honor has a new gf and I haveonly seen him twice since I got engaged. I totally chalk it up to he’s with his new girl but it sucks cause I can’t call him as incessantly as i was did:( I man, I COULD but, I totally get it. I leave him be. (shrug)

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