- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
My Maid/Matron of Honor is my closest sister, and I’m really hurt by her right now. I don’t know if I’m being a bridezilla or what.
She was with my Future Sister-In-Law and my Future Mother-In-Law when we planned this engagement party back in March (it was a couple of weeks ago, in mid-July), so no surprises. Future Sister-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law wanted to throw Fiance and I an engagement party in lieu of a rehearsal dinner (we didn’t really need either, but they love parties), so that our families could meet. Fiance and I had to write a nice, emotional description for each attendee in advance.
Maid/Matron of Honor texts in the morning that she will be a half hour late. No problem, I told her! She was actually about 3 hours late, I think, no text or call or anything. For a while Future Mother-In-Law was asking me if we should hold off eating, I said no. At one point my mom called her and she was “2 miles away”…showed up much later. I don’t know exactly when, because she didn’t say hi when she came in. It looks like she overshot the house to pick something up at the mall, but quite frankly, I would rather have my sister at my side than a gift. She got there just in time to hear my little speech about how much I look up to her and respect her and how dear she is to my heart.
Then she just left. About an hour later, if that. She said something about feeling anti-social. Normally I might be sympathetic (she’s not normally an anti-social person, quite the opposite), but she actually left to go hang out with someone else and their kids somewhere else. Which she tried to conceal, but the other person didn’t really get that it was a secret so was openly discussing it. This other person had actually arrived pretty much at the party’s beginning, so I wasn’t upset she was leaving. But for my Maid/Matron of Honor to enter SO late and then leave so quickly and give such a lame/bs excuse hurt my feelings.
She’s not sincerely apologetic at all, just a weak “sorry”. I asked later over email if she was frustrated with me for some reason, and she just said “nope, just anti-social!” Except that you went to hang out with someone else. Not really a sincere apology.
Fiance is upset because he feels like she didn’t really try. My 85-ish year old grandmother drove from another county (driven by someone else) and back. My mom is going through chemo, and she hung in for most of it. My dad is 75 and was sitting with the dog outside, and he’s an anti-social guy, and he didn’t try to leave early. I just feel like it’s weak. I feel like she shouldn’t even get the credit for showing up, because she lives north and she was on her way to visit her husband who was working south…so I was a stop along the way.
To add to it, the next week she texted me on a Saturday to invite me to her husband’s birthday…24 hours later. I already had plans but I said I would work something out (I still felt hurt and unmotivated though). I found out that she had invited my parents days earlier…so I was an afterthought for that too.
So, bees, thank you if you’ve made it this far. What do you think? Am I being a bridezilla? Should I let it go? Talk to her? I guess I just needed to talk to and share with a community that might understand.