Post # 1
Maid/Matron of Honor has always been opinionated and I expected that from the getgo. We’ve been friends for 8 years. From the begining she wanted an opinion on everything wedding related. She didn’t like my dress I chose because it wasn’t her favorite of the ones I tried on (never once said my choice was nice, just “it’s not as good as dress A”). She didn’t like the cake flavors we chose because she thinks they’re gross (lemon, chocolate & vanilla, really?), she insisted she get bling accessories including her hanger, jewelry and a dress sash to stand out as the Maid/Matron of Honor ( I replied that you will be standing next to me with a larger bouquet, everyone will know)
Well time to pick a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress came around and she was nothing short of a diva. I knew she did not want a strapless so I found options what were flattering to all of the girls and either included at least one strap and needed to be budget friendly. The other girls go to try them on and agree on a few options. She goes on her own a few days later and starts trying on styles that everone previously said no to. Then says she won’t spend over a $60 because she doesn’t want to wear a blush dress since she’ll never wear that color again and that black would be better (my wedding is in the summer). Basically she refused to get any dress we could agree on unless it was dirt cheap or a different color.
Soooo…we got in a text argument about this and how she has completely been ignoring who’s day it is and that she should be supportive of me, not trying to call all of the shots. She began cussing at me and whining and flat out asked if I wanted her involved or not. I said it was her choice, but if she acts the same way I can’t deal with someone like that. She never replied so I waited 2 days and said by a lack of response i’m assuming your response is no and all I got back basically was “goodbye”
I guess this is mostly a vent, but am I completely in the wrong here? I feel so hurt that she would neglect my wishes and couldn’t be supportive of me during any of this like a friend should. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the cussing at me like I was just some random person. I never once cussed at her or put her down.
Post # 3
You are certainly not in the wrong. Hopefully she will come around! Don’t feel bad though, you did nothing wrong.
Post # 4
I don’t think you’re wrong at all. And I think eventually she will realize this as well. Is she married? If she hasn’t had her own wedding yet, it may not hit her until she does. I think she sounds incredibly selfish & rude. You shouldn’t feel bad at all. Eventually she’ll miss you and feel bad, because I can’t imagine that many other people enjoy putting up with her.
Post # 5
I don’t have much advice, but I want you to know that I’m truly sorry you’re going through this! Some people fail to realize when they make everything about them, and it sounds like she is one of them. I don’t think you’re in the wrong. Best wishes, and keep your chin up!
Post # 6
Sounds like the end of a relationship that was on its way out anyway. So glad I didn’t have a wedding party for this reason!
Post # 7
Thank you for the encouraging words, ladies. I really just needed some back up to reassure my emotions.
“Eventually she’ll miss you and feel bad, because I can’t imagine that many other people enjoy putting up with her.”
This is actually very true, a lot of people ask how we’ve been friends so long. I know she was excited for the wedding as she had a countdown and such, but even when reminded she could’t just accept the fact that it was MY choice in the end that mattered. She’s not married so she hasn’t been on this end of the planning and I’m guessing forgets the fact that it’s not just a party we’re putting on, it’s a day for Fiance & I.
Fiance has been very supportive and reminds me that I did the right thing and remained calm and did not curse or throw insults in return. Ultimately, I didn’t want it to be turned around on me as a Bridezilla even though I’m sure that’s the story that will be told.
I always read everywhere to never give a bridal party member the boot, but I feel as though she made the choice. Possibly one day she’ll realize how she was behaving and we can reconcile, but things definitely won’t be the same. If a reconcile happens prior to the wedding day, I’m not sure I will even invite her as a guest to avoid any tension or “I was the MOH” comments. Just a tough spot.
Post # 8
I’m so sad for your situation. I have to say, I’d buy the ugliest $200 dress on a credit card if that’s what my best friend wanted. I think you need to have serious conversation, face-to-face with her to find out what the real problem is. If it turns out she’s a bad friend who could care less about your wedding, bye-bye.
Post # 9
@Luv2BeachIt: I feel the same way about buying the ugly dress. I may not like it, but I’d suck it up. Unless it was a dress that was completely unflattering to my figure and I was going to embarrass myself, I don’t think it should be an issue.
Post # 10
Your story is eerily familiar: a good friend of mine recently had to ask her maid of honor to step down due to her being a bully and a diva about everything from the dress to the shoes to the invitations to the pre-wedding parties. She should be there to support you, and you shouldn’t have to manage her histrionics on top of every other wedding-related stressor.
As far as I’m concerned, if a bride friend asked me to wear clownshoes on her wedding day, I’d show up happily in clownshoes (with a red nose and rainbow wig for added good measure).
Post # 11
Thanks for all of the advice ladies. It’s still just a little upsetting that such a long friendship is now over, but I’m hoping it’s for the best.
Post # 12
I just think this is another case of an immature MOH/Bridesmaid. Along with my own wedding, I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a friends wedding this summer. I don’t agree with everything, but I suck it up because its her day, not mine. I also know that this friend isn’t particularly happy about the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress I chose but she’s sucking it up…some people just don’t get it.