Post # 1
Member
45 posts
Newbee
I’m in my best friend’s wedding on June 29th of this month. Her entire engagement and wedding planning has been quite stresful to say the least, and naming her “bridezilla” would be an understatement.
My SO and I just got engaged last Friday. We’re starting to talk about who we want in our wedding party. Obviously I want her in my party, but as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, not Maid/Matron of Honor.
How do I break the news lightly to her? My 2 considerations for Maid/Matron of Honor are SO’s sister (although she’s underage, which is the only reason I wouldn’t pick her as a Maid/Matron of Honor but would have her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man instead) and a friend of 18+ years. Friend of 18+ years and I don’t ‘hang out’ often, but it would be really special to me to have her in that position.
Am I over thinking this? Is it ‘wrong’ to not have her as Maid/Matron of Honor even though I’m hers?
Post # 3
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
You should have whoever is closest to you be your Maid/Matron of Honor. Bridal parties are not tit for tat.
Post # 4
Member
8679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I was Maid/Matron of Honor last year for my friend. She is just a bm for mine. I just flat out asked her to be bm and told her my childhood friend was Maid/Matron of Honor. Real, true friends should not have an issue.
Post # 5
Member
47413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I would put everything on hold for the time being. Let her continue to enjoy her moment in the limelight. You may find that this is not such a big deal to her as you anticipate. After having her own wedding, the financial obigation and time commitment of being Maid/Matron of Honor may not hold as much appeal to her.
When it comes time, ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I wouldn’t offer any explanation of why she is not your Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 6
Member
2652 posts
Sugar bee
@rebeccalena: Hmmm… Maybe you could ‘get her back’ by being a bridezilla yourself!!! 😉
But seriously, it shouldn’t be too big a deal. I’ve been bm three times but didn’t ask any of them to be mine. It’s customary in Ireland to only have a couple and could either have 1 or at least 10!
Post # 7
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
It doesn’t have to be “equal” like that. Choose who you think will be the best fit for your bridal party. Also, since she’s been such a pill anyway, definitely wait some time before asking her. After the wedding passes, she may go back to being her normal self (assuming her normal self is someone you really like!), or she may turn into one of those Married Monsters.
I think sometimes brides make their wedding party choices too soon, and then there can be a lot of pain and stress later.