(Closed) MOH- You find out who your true friends are!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sorry this happened to you. I suspect you will get a lot of replies telling you that you’re in the wrong and the Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t have to do anything for you.

I’m not going to go there, all I will recommend is that you call your friend and do what you can to save the friendship. A wedding is one day, a friendship is supposed to last a lifetime. Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

wow, that really sucks. That is no way to treat a friend. Maybe you could send her a letter or email saying what you said here and see how/if she responds.

Ask your new Maid/Matron of Honor how much she is willing and able to participate with each of the things that need to be done. Maybe write down a list and just go over it with her.

 

(((HUGS)))

Post # 5
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@MrsUNClover:  Oh no, that sounds terrible. Friends are people with their own issues, but I always have the hope that people put their sh*t aside for a friend’s wedding. I definitely agree that you find out who your true friends are and it sucks finding out when you’re in the midst of planning your wedding.

Talk to your new Maid/Matron of Honor honestly and tell her that you chose the original person because you two were super close before but now “not so much”. Ask her what she’s comfortable contributing (in terms of helping) etc. Set out expectations/responsibilites early on!

Hugs!

Post # 6
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like her being a part of your wedding was the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back”. Were the two of you having an issues leading up to your engagement, any fights, any problems? After she began her role as Maid/Matron of Honor, were you arguing about your expectations versus her actions? It seems very trivial that she would end a friendship because you talked too much about your wedding (who does that!?). My only other idea would be that something is going on in her life that you don’t know about…maybe she feels like you haven’t been there for her because your focus has been solely on the wedding? 

I talked my sister’s ear off (and she called me on it often) when she was helping me plan my big day. It’s natural for brides to be excited and chatty – and we often times forget that everyone else doesn’t really care (not because they are unkind, but because it’s just not interesting to them!) I hope that you two are eventually able to mend fences, but I would suggest waiting until after the big day. Once bridal frenzy is over and you can concentrate on picking up the pieces…you two have a better chance of being friends again. Best of luck, OP!

Post # 7
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@MrsUNClover:  Sorry you’re experiencing this.  Planning a wedding is stressful enough and your friends should be there to support you.  I don’t really have any advice, but wanted you to know I hope things work out for you. 

Post # 9
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m sorry you are going through this. Wedding planning is suppose to be a fun time although it does turn stressful.  You’ve waited all this time for the right guy, you want the right dress and want everything to be perfect.   It takes up all of your spare time and totally consumes you.   Even though other people are happy for you, they are not going to be on the same level of excitement that your at 24/7.  I only had one Bridesmaid or Best Man that lived in the same city as I do and she didn’t do anything until the week of my wedding.  One of my ushers was there with me every step of the way.  Seriously I can sell her to other brides and make a lot of money.

Try talking to your friend.  If she doesn’t want to be in the wedding you have to respect her wishes.  I really think this is minor and you guys can mend your friendship.  Fingers crossed for you!

Post # 10
Member
2753 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m so glad that your new Maid/Matron of Honor is such a help and that you’re doing better 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MsMindle: Agreed that it sounds like this was the ‘straw that broke the camel’s back.’ Also, thanks for saying this:

It seems very trivial that she would end a friendship because you talked too much about your wedding (who does that!?).

Because…

@MrsUNClover:  I am in a similar boat – My best friend ended our friendship because I was too focused on my wedding (her words) and she had ‘ultimately gravitated in a new direction.’ (her words.) This after 20 years of friendshp and me being there for her wedding (when she was totally focused on it.)

At least yours wished you the best. Mine told me to ‘respect her family’s privacy from this point forward.’  (what a f*** bleeeeep bleeeeep)

Weddings seem to bring out the true colours in people or relationships. Sorry that she did that to you.

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