(Closed) MOH-zilla or am I wrong? (very long!! Sorry!) :(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 63
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Floofy:  I disagree that not wanting to show her legs is a legitimate concern.  Some people hate strapless.  Or orange.  Or taffeta.  I personally hate showing my knees.  Point is we often wear things when we’re in a wedding because we love the bride.

Why can the bride not be able to say “I really like this dress and it would mean a lot to me if you would wear it?”  OP has done quite a bit of juggling already to try to accommodate a picky sister– a sister who has already said both short dress and wanted a different color.  It sounds a lot more that OP’s sister is trying to be more obstructionist and throw up roadblocks than having sincere concern about showing her legs.

Post # 64
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@LLRininger:  

Your mother should not have to get involved, this is between you two. Also, what you spent on her wedding does not dictate what she has to spend on yours. I know it might be upsetting, but maybe what you had to spend is not what she can. If you want the drama to stop, take this into your own hands and end it.

Tell her “I’m sorry the short dresses have made you uncomfortable, if you would like, maybe we can work on your outfit together. We can find you some cute tights, or if that doesn’t work out I can pitch in for that longer dress. Having you there is important to me and I want you to feel good in your dress.”

Sometimes the right thing to do is not the easiest. You have explained you’re not the closest of sisters, but yet you still made her your Maid/Matron of Honor. Honor her by making her feel her thoughts are valued. You might even gain a stronger bond! 🙂

Post # 66
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@LittleCricket:  

A wedding is the time for love to be expressed from both sides. It isn’t fair to make anyone feel bad just because the bride wants what she wants. A dress is no different. A hemline and a neckline to me are valid complaints. I am a busty woman, I would be furious if I was told to wear a strapless dress. If people are downright uncomfortable in what they are wearing, it is going to show.

I offered a suggestion to make things right. A bride doesn’t “have” to do anything, and this bride has shown kindness in providing options…still, the problem goes unresolved. If that particular dress makes her sister feel good, isn’t that enough?

I just always believed in “Kill them with kindness.”, especially during a time that you will shine. What bad can come from being the bigger person?

That was all I was saying.

Post # 67
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@LLRininger:  

I understand money can be tight, but it’s still a sister problem. So offer something that you can do. 🙂 Maybe all she needs is the right accessory, or like I said…tights. Or do something that is completely free;

“I think you look beautiful.”

Post # 68
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@LLRiningerI 100% understand where you are coming from. I have 3 older Sister’s and one who is about 3 years older than me that treats me this way too! I get why you mentioned her “weight” as it was definitely relevant to the situation along with the background of her and your issues (such as beating up on you and such) as it sets the background and where you come from.

I am very SORRY that people have CONSTANTLY tried turning your words around! I also 100% get that you love your Sister unconditionally as I do mine and would do anything in the world for her although I know she will more than likely never return the favor. As is likewise she is my Sister and I love her/like to please her. I do not blame you for wanting her to be apart of your wedding as you were in hers and how she is your only sibling…I 100% get that!

I think she is trying to make the wedding more about her than it is about you. You have tried working with her to get her a dress she is comfortable with and yet she will always have a complaint! Not to mention your Mom offered to help with the extras…so really what is her complaint now?! I really think she acted out of line but if it were me (I would not expect an appology as I know my Sister would not give one). LOL Just try to have a good time on Thanksgiving and set your differences aside for the day. You can talk to her in private or with your Mom around (sometimes we have to do it that way to keep peace) lol and explain that you are sorry for not confronting her and tried your best to accomidate her wishes and how you would really like her to wear one of the two dresses and that Mom is more than willing to cover the extras.

Post # 69
Member
24 posts
Newbee

I’m going to put in my 2 cents. I was recently a bridesmaid and to be honest I did not like the dress. I hate showing my arms but I wore it for the bride (cause I love her that much). She wanted the dresses to be ordered the same day because of the dye lot reason, I dropped $135.00 on the spot even though that was food and gas for the week. What I am trying to say that if I did this for a friend, I would do it for my sister in a heartbeat, without having to think twice. It sounds like your sister to me is making up excuses because she is trying to make this about her. Her moment of glory & shine is over and it’s your turn. She’s probably hating every bit of it. I understand some financial mishaps come up but if that was the case then she needs to say something instead of yelling at you. If I were in your shoes, I would really think about it. Do you really want to have this stress even though she’s your sister? A sister would never do this to you cause I know my sister’s would never think of doing this to me or I to them. Also, her excuse about not wanting to show her legs when she has done it before is total BW if you ask me. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving! 🙂

Post # 70
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@LLRininger:  You’re welcome. A lot more bees have come forth to back you up too, so that’s nice. My sister really found her own self as she got out of college. She’s also military and very very well respected in her field. I think she gained confidence. I remember her coming home towards the end of college and I found myself picking a fight with her because I was still hanging on to all the drama from our childhood and teen years. I remember her calling me out for being bitchy for no good reason and I felt embarrassed because she was right…I had become the bully! It was at that time I dropped it all, let the past be the past, and now we can’t get enough of each other! It definitely took her to really stop being in such a sour mood all the time, and picking on me, but just remember this for the day your sister might come around…remember to forgive her right away. Until that day she needs to suck it up and wear that da’gon dress for you!!!

Post # 72
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@drummerbride:  Yes. The point is while a short person could be “fat” at a 12, a taller could be “thin” at a 12.

The topic ‘MOH-zilla or am I wrong? (very long!! Sorry!) :(’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors