(Closed) MOH….apparently hates me?!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@amwagner24:  You say she’s a stay at home mother, and her husband works. If I were you, I’d not leap too far to conclusions without speaking to her. You don’t know what finances are like, or what her relationship is like. Since  only her husband is working, he might be holding that over her head and setting budgets and limiting her spending. Since she technically doesn’t contribute anything to the finances, it might be a hot button issue for them. (That’s called financial abuse, and it does happen). 

Without being on the inside of her family, you can’t know if she’s doing it specifically because she has issues with you or not, so do your best to enjoy what you’re getting out of the day, and focus on getting married. 

If you find in other areas of life your friend falls flat (emotional support, caring about things that go on in your life, etc) then I’d be asking hard-hitting questions about whether the friendship is worth it.

Post # 3
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

She could be having a tough pregnancy – even if outwardly that isn’t obvious, you REALLY never know.

I would let your other bridesmaids know this is going on, and let them talk to each other about redistributing responsibilities. 

I mean, really even if she wasn’t acting funny, you NEVER know what could go on with her that late in pregnancy, so you should have a backup plan regardless. 

Two of my bridesmaids are TTC, so I made the decision to not specify a Maid/Matron of Honor.  If one of them can’t make it, the others are all able to make it work.

You have every right to feel disappointed – but I’d leave it at that.

Post # 5
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

You know what? If my husband was not giving me money or we had money problems, I would let the other hosts know that I was unable to contribute to the party at this time. I would also let you know privately what was going on. I sure the hell wouldn’t downgrade your shower to mints and cake (?). That’s not how friends treat each other. Also, I’ve been pregnant and it was really tough. Not an easy pregnancy at all. I certainly would not have bailed on my best friends wedding or wedding activities. I would rally because that’s what friends do. She sounds like a selfish brat. Sorry OP, I wish your Maid/Matron of Honor wasn’t such a turd.

Post # 8
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@tcanne:  I agree with you. In a perfect world, she would speak up, but she might be embarrassed, or ashamed. Who knows? There are red flags going up about this person most definitely, but it’s tough to know why unless the OP has a heart to heart with Maid/Matron of Honor. She shouldn’t have to though, I agree.

Post # 10
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This is pretty brutal advice but to me it sounds like a one sided friendship and you do all the giving. Whether she is pregnant or not, she should do her Maid/Matron of Honor duties or speak up about not being able to do them. She seems unreliable. I’d ask her to step down as Maid/Matron of Honor and maybe not have her as a bridesmaid at all. I’d hate to see your wedding day roll around and she can’t make it because she’s pregnant.

The topic ‘MOH….apparently hates me?!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors