(Closed) MoH/Bridesamaids trying on wedding dresses?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

I guess it depends how serious of a event you want it to be? I think it would be fun to go shopping and try on dresses with my best friend, it’s something we always wanted to do together even when neither of us was in a serious relationship. That said, if you’re going with other people (like your mom or other friends) it probably wouldn’t work. But I can just imagine having a blast laughing at each other’s fashion disasters and enjoying the ones that really worked on you.

Post # 4
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Don’t worry! The bridal salon is not going to let her do that, so it will be a non issue. You have to make an appointment, and they won’t just let your entourage try dresses. And you are right, it is very thoughtless of her.

Post # 6
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

It’s not appropriate and pretty insensitive of her. But MrsGG is right – no salon would ever let her do that. How rude!

Post # 7
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe I don’t have enough info, but I’m not so quick to condemn her.  I think there might be some overreacting going on.

First, you said you aren’t even engaged.  So maybe she thought you are out just trying dresses on for fun, and thought she would join in.  (Once your wedding is done, you might find it fun to try on wedding dresses. ) 

I can see if this was a serious outting, wanting to get something accomplished, and she came across like all she wanted to do was have kicks and giggles, feeling a little alarmed.  But were you specific with her?  If you told her something like, "I’m really expecting a ring sometime soon.  I’d like to get a jumpstart on trying wedding dresses, since we want a short engagement.  Would you like to go?"  (I could see feeling a little put out by that.)  But if you didn’t, I think there might be a misunderstanding.

Also, is it possible that she was offering to try dresses on, in which the sample was more her size than yours?

I don’t know your friend.  And maybe there’s more to the story than you just posted.  But I’m a little surprised that after this, you are considering not having her as your Maid/Matron of Honor, since she is your best friend.  I’m not trying to be harsh.  Just take a breather and regroup.  Gently tell her you really need to try on all the dresses, because some she tries on might look good on her and not you or vice versa.  If she blows up, then you have reason to doubt her Maid/Matron of Honor status.

Post # 8
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think you all are overreacting a bit. Considering finding a new Maid/Matron of Honor is extreme. You just need to talk to her about it, very casually. I’m sure she didn’t realize that you want your own spotlight. I’m guessing that you’ve talked to her about potentially being Maid/Matron of Honor. She’d probably be shocked and hurt if you changed your mind, especially over something as inconsequential as this.

Post # 10
Member
1091 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

On the flip side i tried to get my Maid/Matron of Honor to try dresses on with me.  She isn’t married yet and had none of it. I’m sure if you explain to her (or even to the salon that you have an appt with if you’re non confrontational) that everything will be fine. 🙂 good luck!

Post # 11
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I would be surprised if most salons allow her to do this, since they’re going to focus on you.  However, I think that she probably was just trying to make it a fun, light-hearted day of shopping by suggesting it.  I think if you said something about how it really mattered to you that you had her full concentration on helping you find a dress, she’ll get the gist. 

I know I went with my twin sister and told her that I was really relying on her opinions.  She went into full-on Maid/Matron of Honor mode, pulling dresses for me and acting as a go-between with me and the sales associates. We did make a rule that I would try on any dress that she picked out for me, so she picked some goofy ones so we could have a good laugh.  That might work for your friend, who wants to have some fun while trying on dresses, too.  

Post # 12
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it could be fun.  You’ll get to see double the dresses and if it’s something that gives you a little bit of anxiety (like it did for me) then you’ll have some of the pressure taken off you.

Post # 13
Member
39 posts
Newbee

I think you’re overreacting a bit. You know, on tv, that’s a ‘fun’ way to bond with the girls, a FRIENDS episode comes to mind. Maybe it was your MOH’s idea of fun. If you don’t like it let her know but bridal shops usually have rules about this also.

Give her a chance and chill. 

Post # 14
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you are overreacting, I could see how you would feel like your toes are getting stepped on a bit.  I’m sure if you let your friend know, she’ll understand since you have been friends for so long.

Post # 15
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Interesting…  when I went dress shopping without a ring on my finger two of my bm’s tried on dresses with me (some of the not so pretentious salons will allow this), but once the ring was on and I was ready to buy it was all me.  I think it totally depends on your relationship with her.  I love to go shopping, and so do my friends, and we do it very well together, so it just seemed very natural to have fun with it at first.  This is a personal thing between you and your friend, so give her a call and talk to her about it!  I bet she has no idea that she even did anything to upset you!

Post # 16
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I went dress shopping with my Boyfriend or Best Friend, and she was about to get engaged.  Pretty quickly, we could tell that I wasn’t going to be buying ANYTHINg from this shop, so I asked if she could try on a few dreses.  It was super fun to see someone else in a white dress.  so fun!

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