(Closed) MOH/Bridesmaid issues

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Its a way of life honey.  Unfortunately.  You will have so many friends in your life (some long, some short) that will drift off because everybody changes. 

Fact is, based on your story, no … you did nothing wrong.  You shouldn’t have to feel as though your Maid/Matron of Honor is not excited for you.  So, you chose the correct person (which is someone who is not only excited for you, but has been there as well).  And when the planning REALLY begins and it starts getting closer, you’ll be leaning on your Maid/Matron of Honor more and more.  (I’m thankful for mine and my Bridesmaid or Best Man everyday).  They are there to help you, not cause more drama (you’ll have enough to worry about) lol

At this point, you need to accept the fact that this girl is more involved with her own life than anyone elses.  And there is nothing wrong with this; but, its just not helping you at THIS point in time.  Maybe one day she’ll get over it; and maybe one day you’ll pick up from where you left off and be able to continue your friendship, or maybe one day she’ll admit her faults (maybe she wont).

But, this is one of the most important things that will happen in YOUR lifetime … so make sure you do everything you can to insure that the experience is one that you’ll remember (and cherish) forever. 

Post # 4
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  Wow, what a difficult situation! I agree, I think you made the right choice by asking Jennifer to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. You want someone you can rely on, and it sounds like she is just that person!

  Could you try talking to Stacy one more time? Invite her out for coffee or something. Make it clear that you want to talk to her and try to work out some of these problems. If she refuses to meet with you or talk, then I say you’ve given it your best try. Maybe Stacy is jealous of where you are at in your life. Is Stacy single, and is her new friend single, too?

  If Stacy continues to act childish, I would block her posts on Facebook. You can do that without defriending her (no need to open up that can of worms!). She doesn’t have a right to make you feel guilty about your wedding!

  It is your wedding, and you will want to have the people with you that support you. Don’t let anybody get in the way of that!

Post # 5
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Life is too short to waste making everyone else happy. She has moved on to other friends that she has more in common with, and that’s great for her. And obviously you have friends who are happy and excited for you as you enter this new stage of your life. OF COURSE you made the right decision to make Jennifer you Maid/Matron of Honor. You want to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about you and have time for you during all of your planning.

Stacy is being incredibly childish, but maybe she didn’t realize how much you’ve grown apart? Maybe she thinks you love hanging out with Rachel as much as she does? I’m not saying she has any basis for these thoughts, but still… I would suggest trying to talk to her about it one more time, but if she isn’t interested in being a part of your wedding, don’t push it. Be grateful for the other people in your life who want to be there for you. It sounds like Stacy is just going to bring you down.

Post # 6
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m so sorry you are in this situation. Unfortunately, weddings bring out the worst in people sometimes, and many a friendship has been broken via “issues” like these.

A girl who I thought was my best friend stopped speaking to me after her wedding, just cut me off.

My advise, would be to surround yourself with those who are supportive and happy for you. It’s a special time for you and your Fiance, and the friends who want to celebrate with you and who are excited for you are the one’s who will be your friends for life.

And if she’s going so far as to be petty enought to post FB updates about you, it’s time to unfriend her and move on.

Life is too short for bad friends.

 

Post # 8
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am in the exact same situation right now. I have a friend that I was her Maid/Matron of Honor and we have been friends for years and after her wedding we had a falling out.  She had become super close with another one of her Bridesmaid or Best Man, which is completely fine.  But as things went on with planning the wedding, I had the same situation of us hanging out and they would be joking and laughing and I would be the outcast when I would say something. She was someone I had always imagined standing up in my wedding, just not as Maid/Matron of Honor. During our fight I said that I felt even if I asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, she would decline, and she said at that time she would. So I decided it be best to just invite her as a guest, but not as a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

It’s hard when you have been friend with someone for so long and they can’t seem to even try to be happy for you.  But you have the right idea of surounding yourself with people that love and care for you. DOn’t worry about trying to hold a place for her in case she changes her mind. I have decided not to hold a place for mine.  You want people who want to be there from the start. And you don’t want to be worrying about if that person wants to be in it or not, then if they decide later that they now want to be a part of it, if it is going to create unwanted drama or problem for you.

Do what you feel is best.  This is a time to celebrate your up coming union! Be happy and know that those who truly love you will be there to help you and make this one of the best days of your life!

 

 

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