- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Hello everyone! I am writing to vent and get opinions on this crappy situation that I am in with one of my oldest friends
Stacy and I have been friends since day one, and our mothers were even good friends at one point. This year, especially the past few months, Stacy and I have sort of started drifting apart–we’re both into completely different things, we don’t joke the same anymore, and when we’re together, there’s really nothing to talk about. She became very close friends with a girl named Rachel, and these two are inseperable. I am happy for her and not at all mad or jealous of their friendship. However, it has become extremely difficult to do things with Stacy without Rachel being around. After I got engaged, Stacey and I made plans to get together to catch up and talk about my engagement. The day of our plans, she called me asking if I’d like to join her and Rachel for game night at her place. This wasn’t the first time that Stacey and I had made plans, only to turn around to ME being invited to joing THEM, when Rachel wasn’t even involved in the initial plans that we made.
I decided to go to game night, and Stacey didn’t even ask me AT ALL about my engagement! It wasn’t even until about 20 minutes into me being there that she asked to see my ring. And when she saw it, she exhibited no excitement whatsoever. Now, I don’t know, I just always assumed that my best friend of 23 years would be EXCITED for me, and would want to talk to me about it. Throughout the entire game night, Stacey and Rachel joked around, talked about a vacation that they took together, and kind of pushed me to the side. It seemed like everything that I said that night, they shot each other looks like, “Wow, this girl is weird…” I know that this is just one night that I am describing, but there have been plenty of other occassions like this one.
Basically considering everything, I asked my friend Jennifer to be my Maid of Honor because she and I have always been very close, and she has shown so much enthusiasm and excitement for me. She is a wonderful, reliable friend, and I really feel that I made the right decision asking her to be my Maid of Honor.
Well, after Stacey found out that Jennifer is going to be my Maid of Honor, she got very mad at me, lashed out, and had the nerve to say some very rude things. I was very straightforward with her, and told her that I just didn’t think she was excited for me, and that it seems as though we’ve been drifting apart. Throughout the entire argument, I kept my cool, told her continuously that I love her and that I still want her to be in my wedding because she is an important person to me. She told me to forget it, and is no longer speaking to me.
I just think it’s a bit ridiculous that one will just assume that they are going to be Maid of Honor in her friend’s wedding, especially after the way she has been treating her friend. She is the kind of person who avoids confrontation at all costs, and I know that she is blaming everything on me–she even makes posts on facebook, basically saying that I have forgotten who I am and have lost myself in the whole wedding planning buzz, and how I have lost sight of what truly matters.
I keep turning it around in my head to be my fault, but deep down I feel like I didn’t do anything wrong. Has anyone else experienced something like this? It seems so incredibly silly to throw away a friendship just because she’s not getting her way, and has decided to act like a baby. I don’t really know what to do, and I kind of feel like the ball is in her court since I’ve told her I would like her to be in my wedding, but she won’t give me an answer. I don’t feel like i should have to beg her to be in my wedding.