(Closed) MOH/Bridesmaid versus beating your head into a wall

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

Sorry to be blunt, but most people other than you, your fiance, and maybe your mom, don’t really care about your wedding, with exception to those of us here on wedding bee. Which makes perfect sense to why your Maid/Matron of Honor acts the way she does. I would cut her some slack. You obviously picked her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor for a reason, did you hang out a lot before? Maybe you should try to reconnect doing some nonwedding related things.

Post # 5
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

A friend should care about your wedding. I care/cared about all my friends weddings..

Caring does not mean they need to give up their entire life for your wedding, but at least show a little interest every now and then.

thecolorteale, maybe there is something going on with her life right now that is distracting her during your conversations. She could be a bit depressed or dealing with some life changes right now that are difficult for her to explain.




Post # 6
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

art, your post made me laugh. I read it to my Fiance and he seconded it. Sucks that it’s true, but we’re all here for you, and at least you have Maid/Matron of Honor D. P.S. If Maid/Matron of Honor R was a good friend beforehand, don’t demote her, you’re super frustrated now I GET IT, but you will probably regret it later 🙁

Post # 7
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I think the others are right.  I’m sure she cares about you and your wedding but she is probably going through her own personal things.  My Maid/Matron of Honor was suppose to get married in July with reception in August.  They lost their jobs both in the same week had to put the house up for sale and move.  So they called off the wedding for now.  She is in no position to help me at all with wedding stuff let alone want to talk about. 

Having said that… BMs and MOHs don’t have to help you with your wedding plans.  In fact my Fiance and our parents have done all the planning. And you know what it has been so easy.  No other people throwing in their two cents or complaining etc. 


Post # 9
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@thecolorteale:  I laughed at the title of your post!  I’m sorry that you’re having such difficulty with your Maid/Matron of Honor.. that stinks 🙁 

@artbee:  my mom and my fiance don’t care either.. that’s why I’m here!  good point!  you made me laugh too.

Post # 10
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Hmm.  So she just quit her job, and decided she doesn’t want to work anymore?  And would rather just live with her bf, in his parents’ basement?  If that’s the case, how she’s treating your wedding, actually seems par for the course.  Who would want that for themselves?

M first thought was going to be that she is jealous and trying to deal with being out of work etc.  But you really think those aren’t the issues.

So my only other thought.  Did you say she’s like this all the time?  Not keeping a job (quitting for what seems like not a good reason).  And being spacey when you talk to her…. could she really have something up, like ADHD or something?

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