(Closed) MOH…MIA?!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d call/text/email her and say it seems that she’s really busy and offer your help.  See if there’s anything you can do to make things a little easier on her.  In reality there’s probably nothing and its not as if you’re not busy too but its better than just showing that you’re annoyed or upset.  She won’t be defensive.  Then, say you really value her opinion and want her to help you with something that’s important.  If she doesn’t meet you half way from here, you may just have to ask if she’s just not able to be an Maid/Matron of Honor right now.  If she’s spread too thin it may be too much so you could switch her and another friend maybe.  It may bum you out but I think that’s what I’d do. 

Post # 4
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Perhaps you can talk to your mom and other bridesmaids to get some opinions on things too so that there isn’t as much pressure on your Maid/Matron of Honor. I understand that Maid/Matron of Honor have a lot of duties of their own, but maybe splitting these among the other girls too would help her be able to still be your Maid/Matron of Honor despite her hectic life (planning her own wedding to boot). Just a thought. 🙂 I know how special it would be for her to be able to be your Maid/Matron of Honor and I’m sure it would be for her too she probably just needs help keeping up.

-Bella

Post # 5
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee

If you want her opinion on things could you do some of that over email? I know with my busy friends that work weird hours sometimes it’s best to do things electronically so she can fit it into her schedule. Good luck! As a former Maid/Matron of Honor, I’m sure she’d welcome splitting some of her duties up with the Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 6
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Really I don’t think she’s done anything wrong.  Your wedding is a little under a year from now and she’s busy settleing into her new job.  Be patient with her.  Besides as other pps mentioned ask other girls for their opinions until she can offer to help. 

Please don’t remove her from Maid/Matron of Honor or even as Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I had someone make another girl co-MOH the week of the wedding and I was crushed.  They never even told me what was up I found out at the Rehearsal Dinner.  It took everything I had to hold back the tears.  I had helped this bride more then the Maid/Matron of Honor should. Spent $1000 on her bach party, spent hours putting together the Out of Town bags and wedding favors.  Not to mention the 100s of dresses I helped her try-on.  It totally ruined my night and the next day.  I didn’t go to the after party for the Rehearsal Dinner and didn’t go with the other girls to get my nails done before the wedding.  That’s how upset I was.

So please don’t do that to her if she means anything to you as a friend.  You’ve already asked her to be the Maid/Matron of Honor and unless she does something truly wrong then don’t demote her.

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Oh no, Vintage, that’s awful!! I would be so upset too! I went to my best friends wedding thinking I was standing behind the Maid/Matron of Honor and was put all the way in the back! I was totally crushed. And I know you’re not supposed to get upset about that b/c I was still a bmaid, but I’m sorry I was upset!!

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