- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
First of all, let me say my Maid/Matron of Honor has been amazing through the wedding planning process. I really haven’t had enthusiastic BMs and I haven’t really asked much involvement of anyone, but she has been completely supportive and has offered to go with me to various wedding appointments, etc. We ordered dresses several months ago, and when they arrived, we knew she would need a little bit of modification because it was just a little too snug at the zipper. I said it would be fine to turn the dress into a corset back if need be, especially since she is the Maid/Matron of Honor, her dress doesn’t have to match. All of the wedding party paid for their own dresses, by the way, and they luckily all agreed on the same one. She wanted to wait until the wedding was closer to get it altered, as she was going to try and lose weight. I was in a similar boat (my dress does fit, but just in case, I wanted to plan ahead as I was mid-weight loss).
Flash foward, I asked her if she wanted to get together and we could try all our stuff out, see what needed to be done, and I have a few things to do with my dress that I need to figure out but can’t do alone. She tells me her dress doesn’t fitand she’s gained a lot of weight. Not to sound rude in anyway, but I was pretty prepared for this because she had commented on her weight before. I said that was okay, we could figure something out. I was very brief about it because I know that weight is a touchy subject in general, and also for her. I suggested a day, she said she couldn’t do that day, but would get back to me. This was last week and I haven’t heard from her.
Now this is the scarier part: she told me that she is going to lose 30 pounds by the wedding when we last talked, and said it is possible and she will do it. I don’t particularly want her to starve herself for my wedding. She is my friend, and I know from my own struggles that weight loss is very difficult. The thing is that I have actually lost 30 pounds, and the difference is not that drastic when it comes to sizing (it’s getting there, and I do look different, but I’m not quite at where I want to be/used to be and I haven’t even dropped a full size). Therefore, even if she somehow suddenly lost 30 pounds in less than 2 months, there is no guarantee that dress is fitting, and she basically told me she doesn’t think it will fit at all now, but she’ll make it happen.
I have spoken with Fiance and though money is very very tight right now, we agreed that if she needs a new dress, we will buy it. It doesn’t have to match the BMs, I just don’t want her to be miserable the entire time because she tried to cram into a dress, when we are perfectly willing to buy a new one if the old doesn’t fit/can’t reasonably be altered. I haven’t told her about the offer to buy a new dress, because she obviously is not interested in trying it out or talking to me about it, and I REALLY don’t want to hurt her feelings by pushing the issue, but we really can’t wait for her to suddenly need a new dress, order it, and then possibly need alterations anyway with the wedding so close! What do I do??