(Closed) MOH/sister refusing to join bridal party Facebook group

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

“No one cares about your wedding as much as you do.”

This quote helped me put my wedding in perspective and maybe it will be helpful for you to remember from time to time as well. Not saying this in a bitchy way…just meaning that to you (meaning any bride) your wedding is a big deal but to most everyone else, its just another wedding.  Although you enjoyed the fb interactions of the prior wedding you were in, not everyone will appreciate it. As a bridesmaid I personally didnt like most communication/planning emails or texts. I certainly wouldnt be excited abt a fb page much less multiple fb pages. 

Post # 32
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Yeah, sorry, you can’t expect someone to join Facebook so you can have a photo sharing experience.

One of my fiances brothers doesn’t have Facebook so for our bridal party group, we’ll probably just add his gf so she can tell him what’s going on.

Post # 33
Member
2109 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

The level of self importance you display is disgusting. Get over yourself and quit trying to force her to create a social media account she does not want. You have NO right to dictate her life so back the hell off.

If you want help, not judgment, here you go: My advice is that you stop. Maybe create a GroupMe so she can just text into the group from her phone. Never mentino Facebook again to her and accept that it is not happening.

Post # 34
Member
7418 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

What exactly are you afraid of missing out on, if she doesn’t join Facebook?

Post # 35
Member
9096 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

If you absolutely must have a group…. make it a text group.

Post # 37
Member
309 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: LA Athletic Club

I have NOT had a Facebook in 10 years. It was originally meant for college students to connect with eachother. You’re being ridiculous to request someone to make a FB just for a group chat?! If she has Instagram it’s the same thing, or a group text. Your wedding is YOUR important day, don’t expect everyone to care as much as you do for it. Also, her Borderline Personality Disorder has NOTHING to do with the thread, don’t blame a mental illness on your sister not wanting to join FB. It’s HER choice, not yours.

Post # 38
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

dear29 :  Soooo I hate to say this but I’m going to have to disagree with you. She’s saying no and that she doesn’t want to use Facebook and you’re being disrespectful. There are other ways to communicate besides Facebook. I personally deactivated my Facebook account years ago. A bride once told me to check the FB group she made, and I reminded her I didn’t have Facebook, and unlike you, she apologized for forgetting and said she’d never expect me to get back on just for her, and immediately organized an email thread and group text chat. So your sister is totally in her right. I think you need to be understanding. That she doesn’t want to be on there, and find another way to communicate as a group. Good luck

Post # 39
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

Wait, having your bridal party all join a Facebook group is now part of the essential bridal experience? 😂

Post # 40
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

FantasticFawn :  right??? I feel like I missed the memo on that one, I should add ‘create wedding Facebook groups’ to my check list… Smh

Post # 41
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee

What would having a facebook group achieve any more than sending a group text/ email? I deactivated my facebook and it is the best decision i made, i would never go back on for anyone. You are disrepecting her wishes, just because you are getting married does not mean she should have to change her lifestyle.

Post # 42
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

A Facebook group bridal party experience? Her wish to stay away from Facebook is making it about her? 

Uh, drop it. You’re making yourself look a little silly. 

Post # 43
Member
2930 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

dear29 :  I deactivated my FB account over 18 months ago. I’ve been a bridesmaid twice since then. Everything was sent to us via group text or email since some of the other bridesmaids were rarely on FB anyway. I check email on my phone all the time and it’s easy. You’re not going to miss out on any super duper bridal experience by not having a FB group.

You do know that FB is basically all for show, right?

Post # 44
Member
9042 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You sound really high maintenance and you, not anyone else, are going to make your wedding plannng and experience disappointing because of your expectations.

It is fine to have expectations but you have to realise that those are your expectations and no one else’s. No one has to meet your expectations unless you are their boss/paying them. Lower your expectations and I’m sure you will enjoy your wedding experience without pissing off your friends and family.

Post # 45
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

How on earth is being part of a FB group “part of the experience”? People were apart of weddings before FB was around and they’ll be apart of weddings long after everyone has stopped using FB. I have a Maid/Matron of Honor and 3 bridesmaids – if I need to tell or ask them something, I call or text them. My Maid/Matron of Honor and 2 bridesmaids have made a FB chat together to plan my bachelorette party (my other bridesmaid is only 13 and is too young to be on FB), but this was entirely their decision.

In all honesty, you need to respect your sister’s choice to not be on FB. If you really want everyone to be able to communicate, start an email thread or something. Not everyone wants to have a presence on social media, so trying to force them is way out of line (I have no problem with social media but I only have accounts on FB and Pinterest, and I have no desire to join any others).

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