Post # 1
Ok well the SO and had a long chat about Erings last night and the night before. He wants to do things very traditionally. he wants to pick it out, pay for it, and propse without me knowing a thing. But money has been an issue lately in our attempts at engagement, as you may or may not know from a recent post of mine. Any way here is where we left things last night really with two options. and sort of a third one.
Option one, my dream ring
it is moissanite but it is everything i’ve ever wanted in an ering, i adore it and it is very affordable! Option one is pretty basic….option two gets a little tricky…
Ok now i have to provide some back ground info, my maternal grandmother passed away in september. this was very unexpected. my mother was her only daughter of five children. her brothers all agreed my mother should get all the jewelry. So she did, part of this jewelry was what has to be a ring worth thousands. it is a ring with 5 diamonds, the center diamond is (i’m estimating here) probably around 1.75ct. and on each side of the large center diamond are two diamonds each probably 1ct. ….YEAH its some serious serious bling! Anyway my mother has it ring now she was wearing it everyday but i noticed at christmas she was not wearing it. and i started thinking yesterday…i have one sister, its just me and her, and naturally we are going to both want our grandmothers ring, who will my mom pass it on to? hmmm….tricky. So i thought..what it we got the diamonds reset. so that my sister and i could each have a diamond from my grandmas ring. my sister is only 13 so no immediate need for an ering in her case, but in my case its kind of a current event. So i thought maybe we could ask my mom about it, but i also dont know if she is ready. Anyway I picked out a setting.. here it is (with wedding band)
I love option two honestly just as much as my dream ring, i’ve always wanted a princess cut, but the diamonds in my grandma’s ring are round and this ring would be incredibly sentimental. but i’m not sure how to ask my mom she can be..well..quick to take things way out of prespective and get really irrational and ready to fight big time. so the more i think about it the more i love this idea, but its also..idk could start a huge fight. ultimately i think its a great idea and then both my sister and i could have that very sentimental ring, and it could continue to be passed down. i personally think my grandmother would love the idea.
Ok option number three..
It is my birthstone, an opal, which i love. i think they are beautiful stones, i never really thought about anything but a diamond/moissanite for my ering until the other day a fellow waiting board poster mentioned it on another post of mine. when i looked at them i was suprised at how much i like them. i really love this one, and would also be quite pleased with it. it is the most afforable option as well.
so thoughts anyone? =]
Post # 3
I think either your grandmother’s stone or your dream ring would be the way to go. Although the opal ring would be gorgeous, remember that opals are very soft, and it probably wouldn’t stand up to the test of time the same way a moissanite or diamond would. I would have loved to have a pearl ring, but I nixed that idea for the same reason. Too soft. 🙁
Post # 4
i never considered that! great input thank you =]
Post # 5
I voted for your grandmother’s ring. It may be because I find it have more of a sentimental value, but of course, that is just me. I was lucky enough to get my fiance’s great grandmother’s ring. Ultimately it is your decision of what you would prefer more. They’re both beautiful rings.
Post # 6
Opal is lovely but it’s a soft stone and it doesn’t hold up very well with day-to-day wear. I would be afraid to damage it, honestly.
As far as the moissanite, if it’s your dream ring, it may just take you longer to save.
I do not like the idea of asking your mom for your grandma’s ring. If she has been wearing it and has not already offered it, I think it would be very tasteless of you to ask for a stone from it. Your mother probably enjoys wearing it for the sentimental value it brings her. Plus, if your SO feels like he should purchase a ring for you in a traditional sense, this doesn’t help anything. I would not feel right asking my mother to give me my grandmother’s diamonds (unoffered)
You could always go with a smaller ring that you can afford if you want to get engaged sooner and then you could save for the larger moissanite down the road.
Post # 7
I think you should just by a ring that you love that you can afford. If that’s the moissanite ring you posted then get that. I don’t think it’s really appropriate for you to ask your mother for the ring from your grandmother. It’s likely that she knows you are headed toward engagement and if she wanted you to have it she probably would have offered it to you. Yes, it will likely be yours some day anyway, but not yet and your mother probably needs some time with it to mourn her mother.
Post # 8
i think to say it will be mine one day isnt really right either how am i more deserving than my sister?
Post # 9
i completely see what your saying but as stated in my post she is not wearing the ring anymore its in her jewerly box. not saying that makes your statement any less valid but she isnt wearing the ring anymore.
Post # 10
I agree with PP that now might not be a good time to ask your mom for your grandmother’s ring. I would probably get a colored gemstone. If you can afford the moissanite though, get that.
Post # 11
You need to tell your mother that you and your SO have discussed getting engaged. Then, you wait to see if she offers the ring. You do NOT ask her for the ring, do not hint at wanting thhe ring, or discuss any potential plans for “splitting” the ring. That is your mother’s ring and it’s up to her to decide what to do with it without you or anyone else putting in your two cents. It’s not your part to ask for it or it or any part of it.
I have the family stone. From HIS side of the family, not mine. I never ever asked for it and was totally blessed that his parents loved me enough to give it to DH to give to me. And, for the record, DH has a sister who did not get the ring. However, she’ll eventually get the other family stone.
Post # 12
In the end, it’s ultimately up to you, and your mother.
If your mother is not okay with taking stones out of her mother’s ring, I say get your dream ring. That’s just my opinion though. 🙂
Post # 13
yeah i guess if you dont know my mother its hard to make the call i see what people mean about it being insensitive…i guess…honestly i think its a very meaningful symbol. but further more, my mother won’t do anything she doesnt want to do. and would not hesistate to say no if she did not like the idea.
Post # 14
You know your mom best, but I would think if she hasn’t offered the ring, it’s not in your place to ask for it. This wouldn’t prevent me from hinting that an engagement may be close and mentioning that you guys are thinking about what to do for an e-ring.
I personally would love to have had the option to wear something from my grandmother.
Post # 15
I voted for grandma’s ring, but only if your mom offers the stone to you. Just because she’s not wearing it now doesn’t mean she’ll never wear it again. My mom rotates her jewelry all the time. The other day she was wearing one of my grandma’s rings that I hadn’t seen in years. I don’t think it would be right to put your mother on the spot by asking for it.
I agree with PPs that opal is beautiful but it’s not an everyday stone. It will not stand up to the wear and tear that a diamond or moissanite will. Have you considered white sapphire? That’s another durable stone that can be very affordable.
Post # 16
You only said she wasn’t wearing it on Christmas, not that she has completely stopped wearing it. There could be lots of reasons she isn’t wearing it constantly. If your mother doesn’t know you are talking rings, do what BanditGirl suggested!