(Closed) Moissanite Ladies: Can people tell the difference in your moissy and a diamond?

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 16
Member
6448 posts
Bee Keeper

ms2mrs94 :  I know it’s just a picture so that doesn’t help and kind of misleads, but it’s actually a moissanite.  I chose a 1 carat moissanite because I didn’t want to spend the money on a diamond.  Do I plan on telling the whole world this is a moissanite stone, nope, but I don’t plan on advertising either.  Its up to you on what you want to tell your friends and family.  I’d say if you got a 1 carat moissy I wouldn’t assume it was anything but a diamond.  As a 2.5 carat stone, I might guess that either you are incredibly rich or it’s a moissy, BUT only because I’m familiar with this site.  Had I not been a member of this site I would assume you and your Fiance saved up lots of money and that’s it.  I would never question it not being a diamond.

Post # 17
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

janna121215 :  For me, it wasn’t so much what we could afford, but what it costs.  I think the OP is similar to me.  

My line of thinking was that an alternate stone choice almost pays for my entire wedding in savings.  Even further, that $15k I would have spent on a diamond could go towards early retirement (I’m semi-retired now at 33) or have lavish vacations with my future hubs.

I know most people wouldn’t go the same route I did, and I can appreciate their feelings toward their ring choice.  Each bride is the one who has to look at their rings everyday, not our family or friend. 🙂

Post # 18
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I agree with some other posters. At 2.5 ct, people may not know it’s a moissanite, but they’ll know it’s not a diamond. Most people who don’t know about moisssanite will assume it’s a CZ.

Post # 19
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

if youre going to be paranoid about people knowing, why not just get a stone youre proud of? Nothing wrong with moissanite but if you’ll view it as some closely gaurded secret that kind of kills the joy. 

Post # 20
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

I own both diamond rings and mossianite rings. I have a mossianite ring I’ve been wearing 24/7 since 2008 (it’s still as sparkly as the day I received it) and a new mossianite ring that my SO of 13 years bought me in January.  The difference I notice is that my mossianite is very sparkly and throws off rainbow colors where as my diamonds which are also beautiful sparkle but don’t throw off rainbow colors as much.  The ring I’ve been wearing since 08 is a .50 carat and looks more diamond like where as my new halo ring with a one carat center looks different than a diamond, its more spintery, throws off rainbow colors and is extremely sparkly.  I have not been disappointed with any of rings, both diamond and mossianite. 

Post # 22
Member
2486 posts
Buzzing bee

Since larger diamond stones are the norm in your area, you can bet that the people who are wearing them know how much the diamond quality equivalent of YOUR moissy costs – A hearts and arrow F1 colorless is equivalent to VVS or VS/DEF, and it will be apparent at a glance in a 2.5 ct eq. that it’s colorless and very clear.

So they will either a) believe that you and your SO can afford – and would spend – that amount on the ering, or b) that you can’t or wouldn’t, and therefore it’s a SIM. 

And you will probably get a mixed bag between those two options. But if even one or two people in your social circle are on the more judgmental side and go with B, you can be sure they will spread their opinion around. 

For my diamond, SO really wanted to hit the 2ct mark, so we went down to an I in color. If I were walking around with a colorless 2 ct stone, I think people would DEFINITELY assume it was not a diamond. A colorless stone at 2ct+ is nearly twice the price of a 2ct+ stone in the I/J/K range.

I think you either go with the moissy and embrace the fact that it’s a moissy (NOT necessarily a SIM – they are a beautiful stone in their own right), or you search carefully for an smaller (~2ct?) eye-clean SI1 diamond in a lower color.

Yes, I can see the color in my I stone, but I actually love it! Colorless stones just look like glass to me. I love seeing body color in a stone, as long as it faces up white. And if it’s well cut, it will face up white in the near colorless range. 

Post # 23
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

ms2mrs94 :  I might consider an upgrade down the road too.  I was torn between the amethyst and the pink sapphire.. but who knows.  Emeralds may grow on me one day.  

But I love my huge purple ring! Excuse the nail polish.

Post # 24
Member
2399 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I have to agree with most & since you asked…. I would assume it’s fake. My husband & I make well into 6 figures. Lots of people do. Still, most people with our income aren’t shelling out 15k+ on a single piece of jewelry. And that’s what a “perfect” 2.5c diamond ring would cost, even if you got it super cheap somewhere. Unless you’re known for having high end “extravagant” things, most people will assume it’s not a diamond. Do you own a huge house? What’s your car situation? (BMW, Mercedes, or at least an Audi?) Designer clothes and accessories? …. yeah, 2.5c perfect diamond ring might seem normal. 

If you’re driving a 10 year old Ford, renting an apartment, shopping at Macy’s, etc., it’s just not going to be believable. People look at these economic social markers when they sum a situation up. It’s human nature. 

Still, I doubt anyone would actually say anything to you about it, even if they *know*.

Post # 25
Hostess
9675 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I think the argument “Well we can afford a diamond” is kind of a cop-out. Either own up to wanting a moissanite or don’t. If you could comfortably afford a diamond, that means you wouldn’t have to sacrifice your savings, a trip, your wedding, etc. Look, IMO, a 2.5 ct D-H colored VS diamond is unattainable to the working middle class. If your goal is to have a huge stone, then rock a moissanite and be proud. If your goal is to hint to people you’re more affluent than you actually are, then assess your priorities.

You simultaneously want to 1) please grandma and your friendgroup and 2) mentally placate yourself that your moissanite is just as good, or better than a diamond. I’m not saying it isn’t “just as good or better,” but it’s DIFFERENT. And believe me, people can spot the difference. So you have 2 choices: 1) let people speculate about it behind your back or 2) own up to it and rock it 

Post # 26
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

People have touched on this but I think it’s fair to say a couple things about large sims in real life:

1) Does it look portportional or huge on your finger? Most people walking around aren’t going to be able to know the exact carat size, but they will notice if it seems overly large for your finger. So if you have size 8-10 and a 8mm stone, it might just look like a it’s a little generous, but not astronomical in price.

2) Moissys do give off rainbow sparkles, but know that you won’t be in ideal lighting 100% of the time. I don’t have mine yet, but I wore a small moissanite band when I was traveling and it didn’t shoot off rainbow sparkles all the time. A lot of the time, it just looked like a nice white stone. So unless you’re in direct lighting, it’s not going to be a disco ball all the time. Plus, normal dirt + oil is going to dull it a little bit, just like it would for a diamond. 

Post # 27
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’ve had moissanite for many years, but no one ever asked.   If they had I would have gladly told them. But it’s 1 ct, not 2.5.  We could also have spent the equivalent of a new car but chose not to. I currently have diamonds because they were heirlooms, otherwise I would have moissanite again.

I wasn’t trying to be snotty about it, but yeah, if Grandma knows moissanite and it’s a very large size then she will probably know. 

PS I make over $100k by myself.   For me it’s not the pricetag, it’s just being a smart consumer.

Post # 28
Member
2928 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

 

ms2mrs94 :  In the end, the only one that has to be happy with your ring is you.  There was a Bee who I haven’t seen in a while (RayKay) who would always mention the term “mind clean” and it’s true.  Going with a moissy (and a big one at that), is it always going to bother you that people MAY think that you have a sim?  It doesn’t matter that you can afford a 2.5 carat diamond – you didn’t get a diamond.

I’ll give an example of this.  One of my friends got a moissy.  It was a beautiful 1.5 carat emerald cut in a pave halo.  It was a gorgeous ring.  It actually had me fooled.  They definitely could afford such a size but she wanted the moissy.  She felt terrible when people would constantly compliment her on her “diamond”.  She felt like she was being deceitful.  She could never “own up” to owning a moissy.  So for Christmas her husband bought her a beautiful 0.7 carat emerald in a halo setting; and that ring is actually prettier that her original ring.  She rarely wears the moissy now; it’s more “mind clean” for her to wear her diamond.  She had originally wanted a moissy in order to save money, but wearing a sim just weighed too much on her mind.

There’s a lot of women that could give two sh!ts about what other people think, but the fact that you’re concerned about what your grandmother thinks leads me to believe you’re not one of these people.  You say you’re not trying to pass your ring off as a diamond, but you’re concerned about what others think, which means, to me that you ARE.

If it’s constantly going to bug you, then just get a smaller diamond.  Why do you need a 2.5 carat stone anyway?

Post # 29
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

I agree with the PPs. You say you can afford a 2.5 real diamond, but the catch is: do you mean a flawless / near flawless / great color, perfect cut diamond? That’s where the moissy will show itself to be what it is, beause it will look too perfect compared to what you can likely afford in a real diamond. 

People would be rude to comment, but some people are just rude, unfortunately (and I’ve actually heard a girl called out on it by another person). If you want to be 100% confident that wherever you wear your ring that no one will know or comment, then buy a real diamond. That way you will never ever be self-conscious about your ring.

Is there a reason you need a 2.5 ct? To me, that is a dead giveaway—a perfect 2.5ct (unless you are a Beverly Hills rich wife etc. who would likely have an even bigger one). An affordable real diamond that size would be included, which you don’t want…but at least people WOULD know it’s real. You could buy a used large diamond for a great price and have it reset. Or a loose new smaller diamond with great specs. Or else just know that people will know you are not wearing a diamond. Even a smaller moissy would be more believable. 

And as sunnierdaysahead2 said, it doesn’t matter that you can afford a 2.5 carat diamond because, to others, that will prove otherwise since that is not what you bought, and I don’t think you’re going to go around explaining “this is a moissy but I really could have afforded a diamond”. 

Post # 30
Member
2399 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

sunnierdaysahead2 :  Great points.  Why spend any amount of money on a ring if it’s going to cause you emotional distress? That seems very counter productive. Moissanite isn’t cheap (which is why I would never get it. In not going to spend hundreds of dollars on a simulant. Just not worth it to me). 

 

I’ll be honest. I think the OP has oversold her financial circumstances a bit. By her name, one could assume that she was born in 1994. That’d make her 23 this year. Now, she could be very well off. True. But most 23 year olds, even college educated 23 year olds, aren’t comfortable enough financially to “afford” a 15-20k ring. Let’s be realistic. Anyone can say they can afford something, but in reality that means that they would have to finance it or give up several somethings to get it. That’s not affordable. Heck. Technically, I can afford a 20k ring and a million dollar home. I’d have to go into hock to get it & live on Ramen noodles, but sure, I could “afford” it. Maybe we just have differing definitions of what “afford” means?

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