(Closed) Moissanite or Diamond???? HELP!!!

posted 10 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
Member
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@EffieTrinket: Very well said.  We should all love our rings regardless of what stone they are.  They were given to us with love – whether a diamond, moissanite, twist tie, or none at all.

Post # 63
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Cue cupcake pictures…..now.

Post # 64
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

The idea that people really, genuiely care about the materials present on your ring finger is actually quite bogus. Anyone can admire a beautiful piece of jewelry, but the chance that someone is going to badger you for composition details is far and few in between. No one should feel the need to be a walking political statement, or constantly feel the need to defend their choice. For crying out loud, it’s a ring. It’s an object, not an extension of the human body.

We all need to drop our defenses and just celebrate the promise of love and marriage, for pete’s sake.

Post # 65
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@EffieTrinket: But in return, I’d like to not be made to feel like my moissanite is fake, cheap, supporting ____, endorsing ____, or some grand political statement. Not saying you’re trying to do that at all, just that that’s what gets me up in arms re: this topic sometimes.

And I can completely understand that.  But I don’t think that many people are concious of the fact that in saying “hooray for my other option”, they are in fact doing to diamond owners exactly what they’re upset was done to them.  It’s one thing to say you like moissanite, it’s completely another to tear down diamonds and the diamond industry just because it’s out of your financial reach or conflicts with your ethics or just isn’t your personal preference.  THAT’S the stand I’m taking here.

The fact is that yes, moissanites are fake, because a REAL moissanite is so rare that it would cost a heck of a lot more than any diamond would if you could find one.  They’re made in a lab.  A manufactured stone (of ANY kind) is an imitation of that stone.  Imitations are not real, ergo, they’re fakes.  A cubic zirconia is a fake.  A lab-manufactured diamond is a fake.  I understand that there is a negative connotation that goes along with saying something like that, but I’m not trying to offend anyone or talk them out of their choice (I promise), I’m trying to be realistic and ask them to do the same.  Raise your hand if your moissanite was dug out of the earth.  Anyone?  Imitation = not real.  That’s just the reality. 

PLEASE don’t misunderstand me.  Mined stones are not BETTER (usually).  Alternative stones are not WRONG.  I understand that such a connotation has been attached to them, but that’s not at all what I’m getting at.  I really am sorry that it is that way, to be honest.  I think it sucks huge that you guys are viewed differently for wearing an alternative stone.  Anyone’s choice is as good as anyone else’s.  But OWN it.  Please.  Don’t be all “moissanite is better” or “diamonds aren’t that great” or “diamonds are all marketing” because saying those things is exactly as unfair as it is for me to say there’s something wrong with your ring because it’s not a diamond.  Say “I bought it because it’s cheaper” or “I’m concerned about conflict diamonds”, don’t tear down my ring because yours is the underdog.  That’s just crap.  It’s an engagement ring.  A symbol, just as amusememusically said.  Love it for that.

Post # 67
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

The thing is, deliciousappleblue, the reasons behind buying alternative stones is often quite personal. The decision, in and of itself, is often due to a dislike for the diamond industry, and a moral position they hold quite dear. Try telling a Christian that their Christ is fake. Then try to tell them that they shouldn’t covet their religion if they, in turn, shed a less than favorable light on non-believers. Kind of a far fetched example, but it’s hard to express praise for one without simultaneously expressing distaste or indifference for the other. It’s a double edged sword. I agree that it sucks, but unfortunately, it’s true.

Many of my friends and family own diamond engagement rings, and I gush and oogle just the same. If my financial situation were different, who knows what I would have preferred. I have said, time and time again, that judgement and mean spirited comments towards a person is downright wrong. This goes hand in hand with my comment about rings being an object and not an extension of the human body. I am perfectly capable of loving and respecting a person while still having personal opinions about their choice in a fancy object.

Post # 68
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@DeathByDesign: All the hype about diamonds is pure marketing, at least to the extent the hype is at.

Oh?  As far as I’m aware, diamonds are marketed as being hard, sparkly, rare, and the standard for engagement rings.  Aside from a little embellishing about the rarity, which part of that is untrue?  Are my diamonds NOT those things?  Do I just believe they are because of the hype?   Diamonds may be the standard because of their marketing, but that’s the point of marketing.  I guarantee you moissaniteco would LOVE for their marketing to result in that kind of reputation.  Would you be equally opposed to moissanite, should that be the case?  I’m starting to feel that you’re deliberately missing my point.

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@izziebear: Kind of a far fetched example, but it’s hard to express praise for one without simultaneously expressing distaste or indifference for the other.

I disagree. I think it’s easy as pie to say “moissanite is good because it’s less expensive and there’s no risk of ethical concerns”.  Go right ahead and praise your choice!  Why wouldn’t you?  What I’m talking about is the difference between saying “moissanite is great” and “diamonds aren’t that great”.  Surely you see that difference?  I can say “I’m not a Catholic, but that’s my choice”, but I would never say “Catholics are stupid for believing the hype”.  It’s one thing to praise your thing for its merits, and quite another to praise it at the expense of something else. Especially when us diamond girls are not allowed to do the same.

Post # 69
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2010

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@deliciousappleblue: Bravo.

Why can’t we just promise each other not to look down on any type of ring, be it diamond, moissanite, or volcanic rock?

There’s way too much diamond bashing going on around here.

Don’t put down other people’s choices just because they aren’t your own.

 

btw. if more people wore openly different rings, wouldn’t that eventually help everyone appreciate more diversity and cut down on the negative comments? if that’s your aim, then bring out the rainbow colors, ladies.

Post # 72
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

@deliciousappleblue: The reason that I made the comment you highlighted is because I actually do see those comments as a way of demeriting the other, whether or not the statements made are intentional or mean-spirited.

I guess I am trying to point out that it is often tricky to keep a neurtal frame of mind on this subject. Isn’t saying that moissanite is an equally beautiful option for a fraction of the price essentially claiming that diamonds are overpriced? Isn’t the statement that moissanite is a ethical option basically conveying that diamonds are associated with said risks? Please don’t get me wrong, as I am not trying to argue with you – quite the contrary. I find you extremely well spoken and believe you make some excellent points, many of which I agree with 100%. I guess my intention is to convey that I don’t believe people are trying to be snarky, personal, and intentionally bash diamond owners. I just find it nearly impossible to make statements like the ones you described without insinuating that the “faults” of diamonds influenced their choice to go a different route. However, it’s one thing to politely state an opinion, and quite another to say, “All diamond owners are heathens!” Maintaining a level of respect and understanding is what’s important. The fact that we all are blessed with wonderful partners should be enough to bridge the gap. 🙂

 

Post # 73
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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@izziebear: Maybe the problem you’re having is my fault.  Let’s use a different example and try again:

Moissanite is sparkly

or

Moissanite is sparklier than diamond

And the winner is…?

Post # 74
Member
289 posts
Helper bee

@deliciousappleblue: I totally see what you’re saying. Completeley agree. I definitely think it’s advisable to choose one’s words carefully in order to keep the peace and not offend owners of other stones. I just know that alternative stone owners naturally compare the attributes and charactertistics of their stone to those of a diamonds because they are widely known as the defualt option. I think it’s good to brainstorm new ways to convey our love for our ring related decisions ’round here. Not speaking for you or me specifically, but as a community, I think we can all be better about recognizing when and how we are towering our soap boxes a bit too high, haha.

Post # 75
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes!  Now you’re catching on.  Thank you.  🙂 

Post # 76
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

OP – For me, it’s not so much about what stone you and your Fiance have chosen as much as loving what you have and being proud of it and what it symbolizes.  We all have our own reasons for choosing what we did, whether preference or financial or ethical.  If you aren’t feeling comfortable with moissanite, then get a diamond.  You want to be happy with your choice, whatever it is.

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