(Closed) Moissanite story: what do we tell them now?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Why would anyone say anything rude? Sounds like your Fiance just felt pressure into saying “diamond”. I’m sure he didn’t want to be judged. Sounds like he may have not been 100% on board with a moissanite. 

If I were you, I would tell your friend. Leave the boyfriend out of it for now. Pull her to the side and just tell her it’s a moissanite. Give her information. Explain that your Fiance probably felt like he would be judged. If she makes you feel any less for not having a diamond, then she is the one with the problem. Not you or your Fiance. People like that can’t see that there are other stones out there. They just hear “diamonds are a girls best friend.” and run with it! 

Diamond owners who don’t give a rats ass about other stones will not make you feel bad. You have a few options. 

Keep your mouth shut, but have to explain if they found out somehow. 

Tell them the truth and say it was just a mistake. 

They will either understand or judge. If they judge, then you don’t need people like that in your life. 

I am also requesting that you post moissy porn. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 4
Member
14497 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Were any of them drunk enough not to remember, or could think that they remembered it wrong if you told them it was a moissy??  They already knew you were looking at a moissy, so many you could play that night off as, you were joking about your ‘diamond’, and that they should have known you wanted a beautiful moissy.  Though, how does this even come up in conversation unless you wanted to bring it up.  My friends, nix that, no one has EVER asked me about my stone.

Post # 7
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@agirlwithdreams7: Why is your friend dating such a tool? I thought the whole “my __ is better than yours!” nonsense ended in elementary school.

Post # 9
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

i agree that i think it’s rude for someone to ask whether something is truly a diamond or if it’s something else (unless it’s obvious that’s it’s like, a sapphire or something!)  that’s it’s a moissy is something that you and your Fiance shouldn’t feel obligated to tell anyone if you don’t want to, and I don’t think you need to go out of your way to correct what they think it is.   

One of my coworkers (whose family seems to have a lot of $$ and she has a family member who is a jeweler) has made some reeeally hurtful comments to all sorts of people about diamonds.  She told someone at our work that “you can only get a shit stone for anything less than 10K” and also told her friend that she thought her diamond was a canary diamond because it was yellow.  ouch!  I was really paranoid about her judging my ring! 

So in my opinion, anytime someone shows me their e-ring, regardless of what it is, there is only one basic sentiment that should come out of someone’s mouth…”It’s beautiful!!!” 

Post # 10
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@agirlwithdreams7:

Honestly, I’d just ignore the whole thing. If someone asks, I’d tell them the truth. (And I don’t think what your Fiance did was so terrible; you picked out the stone, he doesn’t even know what moissanite is, and he can be forgiven for saying “Yeah, it’s a diamond,” to some tool who thinks the size of his wallet and penis are somehow related.)

Post # 11
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d talk to your BFF, as suggested, and not worry about the guy. She’s your best friend, I can’t see her caring or getting upset when you explain. To be honest, she might be interested to hear about moissanite if they’re e-ring shopping. Your ring is very pretty, I kind of wish I’d checked moissanite now (although I love the diamond we eventually ended up with, spending that much money on a ring when money is so tight right now was not too much fun).

Most importantly, you’re happy with your ring. It doesn’t matter if it’s diamond or moissanite or out of a cracker jack box – although you never know when you’ll need a good decoder ring. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
4109 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@agirlwithdreams7: Unless you think you can help your friend by educating her on moissanite for her own engagement (she already knew you were checking it out, so she has the option to look it up herself as well), I wouldn’t feel obligated to do anything about what happened or explain yourself further in this situation. Especially if you suspect her reaction to anything but a diamond will be negative.   

This is a toughie- I think when you choose moissanite or another alt stone people might assume is a diamond, you have to make the choice beforehand on whether or not you tell people- it’s an all or nothing thing I think. Now, unless you tell your friend, you’ll have to worry it’ll somehow slip in the future by the people who do know… at that point it’ll appear as if you’re ashamed of it, which you’ve clearly stated your not.

 

Post # 13
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would just leave it … its done with .. let them think what they want. Yes, they talked about your ring because it is new but it isnt going to be a topic of conversation with them for much longer – and it will be out of their minds. It doesnt hurt anyone that they think it is a diamond , and your BFs ego can stay intact .. I would say you need to have a discussion further with him about you you are going to approach such instances in the future . I personally dont think there is anything wrong with rocking your moissy as a diamond or not correcting people a lot of people do it and it is a personal choice.

Post # 14
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

“Yes, they talked about your ring because it is new but it isnt going to be a topic of conversation with them for much longer – and it will be out of their minds.”

 

That’s along the lines of what I was going to say… Once the wedding is over, your engagement ring will be less and less of a novelty.  I wouldn’t say anything about it.  If it ever does come out that it’s not a diamond, I’d just brush it off with something line “I originally had a diamond ring, but we decided to upgrade to a moissanite because they have twice the refraction index or diamonds and I just love the extra sparkle”

Post # 15
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

@CanadianMermaid: I agree.

That said, if you want to tell people it is moissy, discuss this with your Fiance and then just tell them, maybe casually when your ring next comes up in conversation, if it ever does. 

I agree with what Miss Tattoo said. If their response is that your ring is now not “good enough” because they’ve been brainwashed by De Beers, they’re the ones with issues.

Post # 16
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m in a really similar position… I would LOVE to tell the whole world that mine’s a moissy, and make them jealous that their SO’s spent a TON of money to get a stone that is smaller and not even as pretty! haha! BUT… it’s really important to Fiance that we not tell anyone (something about “man pride”?) so I respect him and his wishes, so I won’t.

Also, really, no one EVER asks if it’s real! Cuz most people know … that is just a RUDE question! 

The only person who ever asked is my sister (haha! she is even more tactless than me! but of course I love her!) and my thinking is… one rude/stupid question gets a rude/stupid question in return!

So she’s like, “wow! that is big! is it real?!” (I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know a thing about gemstones, so I don’t even know why she would think to ask that.) and I give her THE LOOK and I’m like, “Are your boobs real?!” (of course they are. but no one goes around asking people either of those questions! In both cases…unless they have reason to believe otherwise, they assume both are real!)

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