- 9 years ago
I don’t usually look for advice here, since well…I’m already married. But I know there are some moms out there. But looking for advice on this situation with my son.
My 7 year old usually gets along with the kids at school. He’s a pretty sweet kid. But when he’s hanging out in the neighborhood, that’s a different story. Mostly, it’s a bunch of girls (about 6) most of whom are 1-3 years older than him. When we see them out, he always wants to go play with them. I’ve learned to pick and choose, not letting him play everytime. (I know they grow tired of him.) But still, they come to the door sometimes and ask if he can play.
Honestly, I can understand, that they don’t always get along. He’s a boy, and younger, so he’s a bit more immature than they are. Also, he’s a bit ADD, so sometimes comes across "odd". The girls will have no problem tattling on him, "He said shut up." (Yeah, OK fine, I spoke to him about it.) But I find out about three days after the fact, that one time when he was playing with them and asked, "what can I do now?’, because he was bored, one girl replied, "Why don’t you go kill yourself?" He didn’t seem to take it seriously, and said, "My mom would never let me do that." (He’s kind of cute.) But I guess after he went off on a tangent, I didn’t quite follow, she even said something about he could "do it with a knife." I know I haven’t gotten her side of the story. But honestly, my kid wouldn’t just make that up. I don’t think this little girl is that evil. Typically she’s nice to me. I think she was probably irritated with my son, but I don’t think that’s a good reason.
I can try to be objective…except when it involves my kids. I can go through the roof pretty quickly. So I need other objective minds. Do I say something to her mother? Do I just advise my son to let me know if it happens again? Do I never let him play with these girls (even though he really wants to, and sometimes so do they)? the next time one of them wants to tattle about something stupid, do I use that as an opportunity to let them know some "other words" that hurt worse? (I guess I’m frustrated too, that the y make a big deal about shut up, but feel free to throw around words that are worse.)
What I’ve done so far is tell him, if when he plays with them and they’re not being nice, to just come home. I try to encourage him to play with the two boys in the neighborhood, but they aren’t available as much as the girls. And as I mentioned before, I don’t let him play with them everytime he asks.
Ugg. One more thing, my daughter likes to play with these girls. And they’re nice to her. But she’s a little young to play by herself. So I often feel more comfortable when my son is with her.
OK, so any advice is appreciated. Thanks!