(Closed) Mom and dad giving me away.

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
478 posts
Helper bee

Yes. Its not your choice, its your daughters.  And your ex is right, it wasnt her place to discuss it with you.

Post # 3
Member
3763 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

It’s your daughter’s choice. If she wants you both to walk her down the aisle, then you should honor her wishes. Don’t see it as a slight to you; instead, see it as her honoring her mother too. 

Post # 4
Member
9897 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Yes, you are being a selfish ass.

It’s actually fairly common (and traditional in many cultures) to have both parents walk the bride down the aisle. It’s not a slight to you because your daughter also wants to include her mom in that moment. It doesn’t take anything away from you. But way to ruin it for your daughter and cause extra stress and drama.

Post # 5
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

It’s your daughter’s special day and she obviously considers both of you so important. Not to be harsh, but it’s about her, not you. Just be happy she wants you to, I didn’t want my dad to walk me down the aisle, I wanted my mom to do it.

It’s common in a lot of traditions to have BOTH parents walk the bride down the aisle. The tradition you’re referring to was one that started with arranged marriages for family names and women being treated like bartering items.

Post # 6
Member
47279 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

daddyo :  Yes, you are being too selfish. It’s obvious why your daughter didn’t tell you before now. She was afraid of your rection, and shewas right. She knew you would act like an idiot and try to make this all about you. You had your day when the attention was focused on you and your bride. Let your daughter have her day without the distraction of all her guests wondering why her dad wouldn’t walk her down the aisle.

Time for a little “adulting” on your part.

Post # 7
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I could see my dad feeling the same way, and it’s normal to feel hurt. Thinking maybe it’s just comes out of a shock now since this is news to you. If your daughter wants you to walk you down the aisle I’m sure it’s because she loves you. But weddings have changed and not it’s not abnormal for moms to give daughters away too now. Your daughter could’ve just been thinking it would be nice to include her mom too. Maybe your daughter didn’t mention it either because she was afraid of hurting your feelings. My dad can get hurt very easily and it’s never fun making anyone feel bad, especially those who matter most to you. Give it a week or two, let the shock wear off and I’m sure you’ll start adjusting to the thought. 

I think you may really regret if you don’t go through with it, not to mention it could really hurt your daughters feelings. Weddings are high emotions for everyone, I hope you reconsider and do it for your daughter.  

Post # 8
Member
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I am going to be BLUNT you’re being extremely selfish. You and your ex need to suck it up for two minutes for the sake of your daughter. This is her day not yours. I realize this is awkward and not what you want. As the daughter of divorced parents who have no love lost for each other, I can speak from experience that it is vital you do this for your daughter. It’s probably hard enough on her to have parents that don’t get along, but for one day you can put on a smile and be there for your daughter.  

Post # 9
Member
2583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I was worried my dad would react the way you are when I told him he and my mom would be walking me down the isle. Honestly it was a miracle he didn’t get as upset as you are. I understand your desire to have that moment with your daughter. But this isn’t about you. 

Post # 10
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

It’s time to let this one go. For your daughter. It’s not about you or your ex.

Post # 11
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I’m sorry that this upset you so much!  Personally, if my parents were still together I would have been okay with just my dad walking me down the aisle, but since they divorced 4 years ago it just didn’t feel right to me.  So I have both my parents walking me down the aisle, but of course still the specialness of the father-daughter dance!  Hopefully you can enjoy that part of the wonderful day 🙂

Post # 12
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

Yes, you are being selfish. It’s not your wedding, it is your daughter’s. Therefore it is her choice in who she wants to walk her down the aisle. For Jewish weddings, it’s tradition for both parents to walk their children down the aisle. I assume you both had a hand in raising her.

There are many posts on here about brides who had parents that got pissed off and made drama on their wedding because they had to walk with, or split a walk down the aisle. Please swallow your own pride and think of your daughter. Do you want to be pissed off about this, or do you want to focus on the joy of your daughter finding happiness with another person and getting married?

Post # 13
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Yes you’re being selfish. It’s up to your daughter to decide who walks her down the aisle and she wants both of yuo. You need to suck it up for her sake.

Post # 14
Member
936 posts
Busy bee

From a traditional standpoint, fathers PAID to give daughters to husbands as a thanks since the husbands would then be financially supporting the daughter.  Nowadays, marriages are viewed as more equal endeavors, and fathers/mothers are not giving their children away.  They are walking WITH their children.  I think you should be proud of your daughter for her maturity in realizing that you and her mother have held important roles in her lives, and the fact that she wants to represent both of you equally while you walk with her to this new step of her life.  

Post # 15
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Why is the title ‘giving me away’ if you’re the dad? Very weird.

And yes, youre being selfish.

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