Post # 1
Ugh, My first wedding hiccup! I was talking with my mom last night and she brought up having both her and my dad walk me down the aisle. uh-oh. I told her, that it never crossed my mom and that I was going to just have my dad walk me. Its tradition. She told me I’ve never been a traditional girl and that she was the one who raised me. My parents divorced when I was 5 and mom moved us away and I really didn’t have much of a relationship with my dad until I was 18. But now I’m 32 and my dad is my best friend. I don’t want to hurt my moms feelings. BUT, I really wanted just my dad to give me away. I guess it wouldn’t be too bad to have them both, but its not what I had in mind. I’m totally torn! AND, she told me my grandparents won’t be coming to the wedding because they’ve planned a trip here at the end of May (like they ALWAYS do-every year) and they don’t want to make the trip twice. Plus my brother who moved to Thailand won’t be coming. I think she is poo pooing all over my day.
Post # 3
I never really got the whole idea about having your father give you away. I think that you Mom feels emotional connected to you to be able to do something that is so symbolic for the ceremony.
I am planning on having both my parents give me away. My mom gave birth to me, and my mom and dad have been huge supporters all my life.
I would suggest that you think about this – would you rather go with what you initially want (just your dad walking you) and hurting your moms feelings, or adapting your expectations to have them both walk you down. Traditions don’t matter here – do what feels right for you and your family.
Post # 4
I plan on having both walk me down the aisle next week. It’s a tradition in jewish weddings and I’m not usually a traditional girl, but I love the idea. Both parents raised me so it seems only right.
If you don’t want to hurt your mom’s feelings, then I’d allow both. Or you could suggest something along the lines of her meeting you and your dad halfway up the aisle so you get a little of both.
Post # 5
with all due respect to your mom, i dont think its fair that she put pressure on you. it’s your day and you should have every detail as you want. having said that, with your grandparents/brother not coming, she is probably feeling left out/alone and i feel for her.
personally i think i will have both of my parents walk me down the aisle because like you they divorced young and i was raised largely by my mom. unlike you, i am not bes friends with my dad, and having him there will be more of a formality/dont rock the boat of his 30 family members more than anything else. but that is my choice based on my circumstances, you should make your own choice based on yours.
it should be up to you how you want to walk down the aisle. its your day! if you decide not to let mom walk with you, maybe there is something else either at the wedding or wedding reception that she can participate in to feel ‘special’… of course she should feel special already because shes MOB but perhaps something a litle more. keep in mind this may be difficult for her, seeing her baby grow up and not having her parents or your brother there with her.