Post # 1
ok I am in need of outside opinions. For our wedding we are having a frozen custard bar (from a very popular restaurant in the Midwest) with all the toppings you could want and a choice of vanilla or chocolate custard. My mom and Future Mother-In-Law are insisting that we have a different dessert option. The thing is I really don’t want a separate option. Don’t most weddings just have cake or a single option? We are kind of non traditional about the wedding and I have no emotional attachment to cutting a cake (FI doesn’t even like sweets) and I don’t want cupcakes or brownies. Do I just cave so they shut up about it? They both bring it up every time I see them
Post # 2
Just cut a small cake. It’s traditional and guests love cake.
Post # 3
I love custard, but when I’ve seen it at a wedding I haven’t been a fan. I don’t know why. I personally would want another option as a guest, but at the end of the day you are offering dessert and most people should be happy with it. I think you’re fine.
Post # 4
One dessert is fine. People will survive without cake.
Post # 5
We had an entire buffet table witha variety of dessert options. Only a few of them were provided by the catering company – the rest we picked up ourselves, like donuts from a renowned local donut shop, and cake from Whole Foods. It’s an extra, like, $100 to include a few cakes and some donuts. And it makes a big difference in the enjoyment of your guests.
Having said that, if you REALLY only want custard and don’t want to provide your guests with popular items because you don’t like them, that is your call to make (unless one of the mothers is paying for catering.)
Post # 6
We didn’t have a cake and we didn’t do the cake cutting. No regrets. Our parents did complain about it but on the day of, no one notice to the point that they were completly devastated or lost. I did have cupcakes but I only offered one option so you certainly don’t need to offer a second option.
As a wedding coordinator, lots of cakes don’t even get to be eaten so I don’t think it is a big deal to have or not to have cake/cupcakes/brownies.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2025 - City, State
Would they be satisfied if you added chocolate chip cookies alongside the custard? People could dip them in the custard, make custard sandwiches, crumble them on top of custard, or eat the cookies on their own.
Post # 8
I personally love custard and would be totally fine with just that! I didn’t have dessert at all, but I didn’t do anything close to a traditional wedding so mines probably a bad example.
The last wedding I went to had a donut bar and they cut a cake, I think donuts were more of a hit. I remember the DJ kept telling people to go grab cake and it seemed like there was way too much.
Maybe just do a really small cake to please the mothers? It’s not asking that much, but it’s your wedding so if you’re going to hate doing a cake cutting just put your foot down.
Post # 9
I think custard sounds great! But an earlier poster’s suggestion of having chocolate chip cookies alongside it sounds really good too! That might get the people off your back, and still be a very simple, inexpensive addition.
Post # 10
PS, would it happen to be Culver’s Custard? If so, just tell me the date and time!
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for your replies! I really don’t want to cut a cake so we might just do cookies or brownies so I don’t have to hear it from them any more. It’s one question after the other and if I compromise on one thing they might let up, or it could be the opposite who knows.
guess we’ll be sending you an invite! We are thinking of making a sign for dessert table that says “our love is concrete” 😂 I crack myself up
Post # 12
if your mom and fmil are the sort that will take you giving in as license to nag about whatever else I’d actually go ahead and add cookies or some cake or whatever BUT NOT TELL THEM.
That way they stay fixated on this one thing and keep nagging on it rather than moving on to the next thing, and then are happy on the wedding day baha. If they say something about how you came around I’d be like “I don’t know what you’re talking about that was always the plan. I tried to tell you that you were making a big deal about nothing but you wouldn’t listen…” (To help cut off all the nagging they’re gonna do about everything else in your life.)
If they’re the sort that will be satisfied you gave them an inch and stop there then by all means tell them. Surely between you and your husband you know how your mothers respond to having their nagging work?
Post # 13
No, you don’t need another option. People coming are your guests, you would never go to someone else’s house and complain about what they serve you. Weddings should be similar, and come on, you’re having a dessert! It’s not like there’s nothing.
People will always complain, and honestly if it’s causing stress I would just task them to bring something else if they feel it’s needed.
side note: I have a huuugeeeee sweet tooth. Our dessert table was insane, cupcakes (5 different kinds), cake, cheesecake, brownies, cookies, pies, tarts and a s’mores station. Annnd, my grandmother still complains about how there were no dessert options. Ugh. You really can’t please everyone.
Post # 14
I always like having at least two options as it’s very unlikely that every single person at a large gathering will like the one and only option. I hate custard. But cookies, brownies, cake I like! And then there are people that hate cake and would prefer the custard! So I would do two options for your guests, not cause of your mom and Future Mother-In-Law. (if it’s in your budget.) then again I’ve never been to a wedding with only one dessert so my view may be biased lol
Post # 15
You don’t need another dessert. If your mom and mil want it, ask them to bake something for it themselves or stfu.
FWIW we only had mini pies and apparently my aunt was horrified that we didnt have cake. Everyone survived lol.
eta – no one complains when its *only* cake, so its not like everyone expects multiple desserts.