Mom and Sister Dress Shopping Dilemma

posted 4 months ago in Family
  • poll: Who should I take dress shopping?





  • Post # 2
    3948 posts
    Honey bee

    Don’t sacrifice your mental health/emotional well being by trying to please either one. Go by yourself or with a trusted friend.

    Post # 3
    1295 posts
    Bumble bee

    If you honestly dont want either of them there, dont take either of them! Go by yourself, go with another friend, go with a co-worker, go with your fiance. There are no set rules for who you can or should take, it’s entirely up to you. 

    Post # 4
    235 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - River Museum & Aquarium

    View original reply
    @taylagator:  Just take whomever you actually want there. If you want to include them in some way, you could offer to facetime them or something individually once you find one you like, so they can feel involved. 

    Post # 5
    2349 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Wedding dress shopping needs to drama free – not just for your sake but for the sake of everyone in the dress shop too!!!  Either go alone or take a friend who will be supportive and constructive.  Do NOT invite anyone who will use it as an opportunity for drama or to manipulate you.

    My mother is an incredibly negative person and very critical of my appearance, so I knew I was not going to take her dress shopping – I pitched it as ‘I would love my dress to be a surprise for you on the wedding day’.  I also got her to pick my hair ornament from a shortlist of ones I liked, so she felt involved.  I would suggest maybe doing something like this with your mother and sister if you want to involve them – send them pics of accessories and ask which ones they prefer.

    Post # 6
    3142 posts
    Sugar bee

    It seems pretty clear to me.  You don’t want either of them there.  So don’t invite/bring either of them.

    Dress shopping is not a spectator sport.  You don’t owe anyone an invitation for funsies.  You don’t need to invite/bring people who will be critical, harsh, or otherwise stress you out.  

    Real life is not an episode of SYTTD.

    I went dress shopping solo and it was such a wonderful, low stress experience.  I loved not having to deal with anyone else’s opinions on how much money I was spending, what I should/shouldn’t wear, etc.  

    Post # 7
    87 posts
    Worker bee

    I chose to go dress shopping alone, for a variety of reasons. But a main one is that I knew that having my mom there would have caused more problems than it solved. 

    From everything you have posted, there is no good reason to invite either one of these people. And feeling guilty for not inviting them is not a good reason. Protect yourself and your mental well-being and just decide not to include them. There may be fallout, but you can handle that. And remember, just because someone is upset, doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. 

    Post # 8
    1289 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 1996

    View original reply
    @moasmom:   “Just because someone is upset doesn’t mean you have done anything wrong:”


    And I say don’t take either one along.


    Post # 9
    1071 posts
    Bumble bee

    Don’t take either of them. If there’s a lot of tension and emotioanl drama going around it will a)Ruin the experience for you and b) Make it unlikely you’ll find the right dress. 

    Take a friend and a bottle of champagne and enjoy yourself! Choose different, less emotionally charged ways to include your mom and sister.

    You can tell them that you didn’t want to choose between them and create more conflict. 

    Post # 10
    752 posts
    Busy bee

    Invite neither and no need to explain. Take a trusted friend or 2 and make it a wonderful fun day. Stop feeling guilty about it, you are damned if you do or damned if you don’t in this case, so take the damned if you don’t choice and enjoy the experience. 

    Post # 14
    10841 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    View original reply

    Stupid petulant thing to say and l am glad you treated it with the indifference it deserves. I don’t even think she will carry the threat through. 
    Can we see a pic or a link to the dress? 

    Post # 15
    59 posts
    Worker bee

    I dont think you should invite eather of them, just have them at your wedding. I mean why put more stress on yourself if you don’t have to. I would suggest you think about your family history on fashion and pick a nice dress that will repersent not only your family but you FH’s family also. You can get help from the bridal store just make sure you make an appointment. If you dont have pictures to share of what your familly looks like, then google some old pictures of the year of when your grandparents were born, and before going into the bridal shop write them a letter so they will have a figure about what kind of dress they can help you with. 

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