(Closed) Mom basically told me I'm fat

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Fox Hill Inn

@ForeverBirds:  my mom tells me in fat all the time. I am 5’9″ and was ~150 before going on my pre-wedding shape up. Told mom I was planning to lose 5-ish lbs pre-wedding and she said, “That”s it? You should lose at least 15.”

I’m sorry your mom made you feel terrible but it’s Valentine’s Day. Enjoy your fabulous meal and dessert. I bet your SO thinks you’re gorgeous. 

Post # 4
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Ugh, I’m sorry. Over Christmas my mom asked “You’re planning on losing weight for the wedding, right?” My response was something along the lines of “I broke my foot and it still hurts to exercise.” She told me to change my diet.

Post # 5
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

Ugh moms are so critical. Please don’t think anything of it. You are gorgeous, your SO loves you and damn it it’s Valentine’s Day! Splurge a little!

And for the record… I’m 4’11” and usually clock in at around 117. I definitely do NOT think I’m fat and can’t imagine that you look much different from me. 🙂

Post # 6
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Gotta love mothers….  And people wonder why so many girls have self esteem issues and eating disorders.  I am glad you say you do not think you are fat.  Own your body, be proud, and enjoy your life.  It is WAYYYYY too short to take bitchy comments like that to heart. Happy Valentine’s Day!  Oh and please enjoy a brownie for me!

Post # 7
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My mom and grandmother tell me i’m fat all the damn time… I pretend not to care but it hurts. But it’s also true. They have good intentions. 

Post # 8
5387 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m an inch taller than you and about 8 lbs heavier. My grandpa told me that all I’ve been doing is getting fat since I’ve got out of high school. That was 4 years ago and I was 120 then. I don’t think they realize how hurtful they can be! Don’t give up your vday dinner because of her comment! Go and enjoy it with your man!

Post # 9
5298 posts
Bee Keeper

It must be a “mom thing”. My mom has told me I’m fat pretty much from the moment I hit puberty. When I was a teenager, she made me start drinking skim milk instead of whole milk. Everyone else in the family drank whole milk. I was the ONLY person who drank skim. Now, of course, everyone knows that skim milk is so much healthier … but this wasn’t the case back in the dark ages when I was a teenager — LOL! Today, though, she denies she ever did this. She even says to me, “I have no idea why you started drinking skim milk. It’s so nasty!” She, of course, drinks whole milk — and always has.

Of course, she also insisted my entire life that I was extra-super-duper fat because I was 5’3″ … just like her. I am actually 5’6″. She doesn’t believe me, even when I told her my doctor measured me. So she always thought I should weigh 90 pounds. Which was NEVER going to happen. 

Ah Mother … you zany critic, you.

(Although, for the record, I have never, ever told my daughter she was fat. Nor would I ever.)

 @ForeverBirds:  i hope you and your Sweetie had a fantastic Valentine’s Day celebration — and that you truly savored every bite of that wonderful dessert. Because you are gorgeous …  you are strong … you are amazing … and you are loved!

Post # 10
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

What IS it with moms?!  That is so hurtful – I’m so sorry.  My own mom, who knows all of my struggles with weight and body image issues, recently told me “I’m just worried that I won’t live long enough to see you thin.”  Now, I know she meant she wants to see me succeed and get to a happy place, but we never can unhear those unkind words.  I couldn’t stand to be so upset with my mom so I called her back and told her exactly how she made me feel – it may be worth having a talk with your mom.  It sounds like she may have been having a bit of a pity party with  “a pot belly like her” own and decided to drag you into it.  Don’t let her ruin your meal – eat, love, repeat.  Then call her out on that  nonsense.  HUGS

Post # 11
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

my mom doesn’t tell me i’m fat but she drops lots of passive aggressive comments about my weight and about how I could be so pretty if I just lost some weight, etc.  I grew up with it all my life and just deal with it.  I think she struggles with her own weight and sees me as a reflection of her, so I make her own insecurities grow.  It’s unfortunate.  

Post # 12
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My mum is the opposite. Every time she sees me she makes a big deal about how I’m too skinny and I must freeze in winter ect ect. Hello I’m 5’5 and 62kgs! I’m not a rake I’m quite curvy! I think she just likes an excuse to feed me.

Post # 13
183 posts
Blushing bee

…. is what she is saying true? Sometimes the truth hurts, but if we can count on our moms for anything, it is to tell us the truth. My mom used to tell me the absolute truth about my weight, while all of my other family members and friends coddled me to protect my feelings. Because of what my mom told me, I got healthier and lost a bunch of weight. She was right. Your mom is clearly not trying to hurt you and she’s saying it out of love, although it may be hurtful.


Post # 14
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think it’s just a mom thing. Don’t let it bother you! Eat whatever you want, no reason to be upset

Post # 15
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

We may be sisters! My mom says I have fat arms because it runs in the family. She told me I shouldn’t have purchased a strapless dress because of my arms/backfat. P.S. I am not fat. A little bigger for my height but by no means fat. Believe me girl, you are not fat and gross. Mom’s are just funny that way. Enjoy your brownies and love yourself that way your SO loves you!

Post # 16
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

My mum can be the worst with this sometimes. She has her own struggles with weight yet still thinks its okay to occasionally say things like “wow, look at that belly!” to me. Not to mention my grandfather with early stage vascular dementia who has decided that commenting on my weight every time he sees me is appropriate. -_-‘

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