(Closed) Mom being annoying about her dress

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Awww, maybe you should give your mom a break.  She sounds like she wants to look her best on your special day and want you to like her dress. 

Post # 4
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yes, give her your opinion. My mom usually won’t buy or decide on something without someones input. It’s like a security blanket. Is there one dress that maybe your prefer? Do you think she looks better in short or long? I think a 20 min, convo will keep the months of pestering to a minimum. Maybe take a day and go shopping with her and see her buy a dress. Then its done and over with and you don’t have to deal with it.

Post # 5
Member
2426 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Here’s my thought…when you have/or did try on wedding dresses, did you go by yourself and not ask anyone’s opinions?  If you are like every other bride out there, we all got pretty excited about our wedding dress.  A wedding is a big deal to a mom.  So, it’s natural she’s going to be super excited about her wedding dress.  Just cut her a break.  Maybe it’s the one thing she’s going to be able to get excited about if she doesn’t have a hand in on planning. 

Post # 6
Member
46613 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It would take less time to send her a quick response than it did to post this.

Cut her some slack. It is obviously important to her that you approve of her choice.

Post # 7
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you’re asking her opinions about wedding-related things at all (for example, your dress) or even just talking to her about wedding-related details, it’s only fair to listen to her about the stuff she wants to share. She clearly wants to do this with you and make it a mother–daughter experience. What’s so wrong with that?

Post # 9
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Just look at two pictures side by side and pick the one you think is nicer. You can have opinions about clothes that you wouldn’t wear, do you have no opinions about your FIs clothes? Or you could just pick a random dress and pretend you LOVE it so she buys it and can no longer bug you about this stuff.

Post # 10
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

even if you don’t care, be nice and act like you do. she values your opinion, so just give it – seems rude not to.

Post # 12
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

She’s probably insecure and to make the emails/links stop, just pick out which dress you like the best that she has sent you thus far and tell her.  “Mom, this one is perfect, I love it, it’s gorgeous, it’ll look great on you” and hopefully be done with it.

Post # 13
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Or you could post the options on here and let us pick for your mom

Post # 14
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You don’t need to pick out her clothing. Just giving her some attention and short responses to her questions should be enough for her to know that you care.

I have the opposite issue, as my mom has no interest in going dress shopping or even checking out my wedding venue. I wish she cared enough to give me that attention and share the experience with me, but I know that it simply doesn’t occur to her that I would want that when I am capable of picking out these things myself.

Since you say you didn’t grow up with her and live far away, this might just be her way of trying to reach out to you and feel like she is a part of your wedding. I’m sure her obsessiveness is with this one decision is annoying, but it seems to come from a good place.

Post # 15
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

you’re being a little harsh. she’s excited about your wedding and wants to look good and, most of all, please you. just tell her your favorite and she’ll stop.

you’re reacting to what she was/your history with her, but she’s trying now to reconnect. give her a break.

Post # 16
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

It sounds like it would just be easier if you gave in and gave your opinion. Even if you don’t have one, just make it up.

I sent my mom dress shopping with my sister so she had to deal with it, not me. They still sent me a pic of the final dress, but I got to stay out of the arguments about “this isn’t fancy enough, this is too fancy, etc.”

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