- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2017
Hello Bees, I am a regular poster but to not embarass my Fiance I have decided to post this under a different account.
A couple things you need to know before hand. I don’t care that my mom bought my engagement ring, I would never change my engagement ring, in fact having my mom buy my engagement ring almost makes it more special to me, I don’t need advice about what to do, I am simply curious as to what you bees would do if your parent bought the engagement ring for your Fiance.
My Fiance and I had talked about getting engaged for a while, and I knew it was going to be coming soon. But I didn’t know when. We also picked out an engagement ring that was around $3500 (I don’t know the correct amount). He gave me a budget of $5000-$7000. But he got injured between the time we started talking about engagement rings and being able to buy an engagement ring. He severely injured his back, and month by month by month went by where it wasn’t getting better; he wasn’t able to work; and therefore he wasn’t able to buy an engagement ring (almost a year later he is still injured and his neuro doctor got arrested for cocaine use).
He still wanted to propose; and tried to figure out a way to get the money. He tried to get a loan, he tried to take money out of his 401K, he tried to use savings but that didn’t work because he had to pay doctor bills and other bills, etc. etc. etc. he tried every option he could and they all fell through. This is where my mom comes in. My mom tells him that she will loan him the money to buy the engagement ring. At first he refused to take it, but when he had no other choice and really wanted to propose he took her up on the deal. They wrote a contract stating he would pay it back once his back was healed and he was able to work again (but after he had taken care of all the other outstanding bills), and she gave him the money to go to the store and pay for the ring.
About 6 months later, my mom, my Fiance, and I were all having lunch together. My Fiance and my mom start talking funny, and my Fiance kinda gives my mom a nod saying something is ok. Then my mom says, “We haven’t been completely honest, and I feel like there is something that we need to tell you. I was the one who paid for the engagement ring.” She then goes on to explain why and how; and that they had a contract but that she ripped it up and doesn’t want him to pay her back (which was a complete surprise to the Fiance because he was still planning on paying her back). She tells us that when she had cancer a good friend loaned her $10,000 to get a bone marrow transplant to save her life; she thought she would be paying him back, but once she got better the guy told her to keep it and pay it forward down the road. She told us she was paying it forward to us so that we can start our new life together. She told us, that she wanted us to keep the money, and when the time is right to pay it forward.
My initial reaction was complete and utter shock; I finished my lunch in silence. My Fiance got upset because he thought I was mad; and I assured that I wasn’t mad that I was just trying to take it all in. By the end of the night I was confidently able to say that it almost makes my ring more special. My mom and I are very close; she’s the one walking me down the aisle and giving me away. She has never had real good health ever since she had cancer when I was 9. She’s always been there for me, and I couldn’t ask for a better mom. Her buying my ring makes it more special to me; its like an extreme blessing on her part. I can’t really explain it, I just really love the thought that she got it for me.
And yes, we will be paying the money forward when the time is right.
Sorry this is so long. So bees what would you do or what would your thoughts be if your mom (or some other important figure in your life) bought the ring your Fiance proposed with? I’m going add a poll but I don’t really know what the options are going to be.