(Closed) Mom can't really help at bridal shower

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Who is hosting the shower? Is it being held in someone’s home or at a hall or restaurant?

Post # 4
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Mother-In-Law hosted my shower, with the help of my mom and sis. Mother-In-Law has MS, and can’t move too fast. She hired a caterer, who did most of the carrying and cleaning. Father-In-Law was around, and lifted heavier stuff during setup. I’m sure whoever hosts will get along without her help,and if she hosts maybe she can hire a few HS kids to do the labor.

Post # 5
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’m sorry your mom feels so worried. I’ve been to only tiny showers (< 20 people), and no one needed to do anything other than set up; people refilled their own drinks and went to the buffet table themselves. While you could reassure your mom that your friends will be glad to do the set up, and she can just sit back and relax, perhaps she would still feel insecure if she is used to doing a lot of the service. To make her feel at ease, it might be best to hold it in a restaurant.

Post # 7
46653 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Normally one of the bridesmaids write the type of gift and the name of the giver on the back of the card in case any cards get separated from the gift. Perhaps your Mom could take on this role?

Post # 9
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Could she be the person who sits and writes down all the gifts you got and who gave them?  Give her a doable role – sounds like she wants to do something.

Maybe she can help address your thank you envelopes.

“It’s been my experience that at bridal showers, the BMs and close female relatives (mom, godmothers, aunts, grandmas) walk around the whole time making sure everything is neat and tidy and all the guests are accomdated – refilling drinks, cleaning up used plates, that sort of thing.”


I have seen only the hosts do this stuff – not extended family (if they are not hosts).

Post # 10
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Stace126:   if her health won’t allow, find her a seat of honor and Friends and family should understand (unless she’s trying to keep it a secret?)

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