(Closed) Mom doesn’t the dress I like :(

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Awe, I think your dress is beautiful!!   I can see where it would be a let down that she doesn’t like it, but she’s right….it’s your day. your dress. I’m fully prepared for my mother hating my choice.  I’ll know when she says “Oh…it looks like YOU.”  (Which means it looks like my taste, and nothing she’d ever pick in a million years) Get the one that makes you feel beautiful and own it.  In the end, she’ll be supportive and happy for you, and the dress won’t even really be on her radar.  ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 4
Member
46404 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If there is one day in her life when a girl should wear the dress she likes, not the one her mother likes, it’s her wedding.

Post # 5
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think this is positively gorgeous and you should stick with it. She probably had a more traditional style in mind but once youve made your final decision shell warm up to it and she will think you are the most beautiful girl in the world in your wedding day and be proud to be our mother!

Post # 6
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

i completely understand… my mom absolutely hates everything about my wedding, from my wedding taking place on a thursday, to the color voilet, to the actual venue and then down to the food, i wish she would help me or even better, like something lol. i feel really alone with the whole planning… your dress looks SOOOOO amazing on you and i wouldn’t change a thing!!! i’ve learned this week, thats its your wedding, its your pictures that you will be looking at how many ever years from now… i know it is hard when that happens to you but im sure her heart will melt when she sees you put on your dress and walk down the aisle…

Post # 7
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

It is so difficult to disregard what your mother thinks of what you wear on any given day, let alone your wedding day. My mother hates virtually everything I wear, and my wedding dress is no different. People keep telling me to ignore her and get the dress I like, and this is true

IF your mother is not like mine. If my mum hates my dress, she will make it clear on the morning of my wedding, which will (knowing our history) put a huge dampner on the day. For this reason, I won’t say ‘just ignore her’, but examine how your mother hating the gown will make you feel, and then act from there.

 

You look absolutely amazing, and that gown is so stunning, I’m sure you will make the right decision.

Post # 8
Member
14486 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes.  I went dress shopping with my mom.  She liked another dress much more than the one I liked that I thought was just ok and didnt really like the one I wanted.  I went with the one I loved anyways.  At the end of the day it is your dress and you should wear what you feel beautiful in.

Post # 9
Hostess
23602 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I also disagreed with my mother over which dress was my wedding dress, so in the end, I showed my father my top 3 choices, and let him choose in the end!  Risky, I know, but in the end Dad sided with me. ๐Ÿ˜›

For what it’s worth, I think you look PHENOMENAL in your dress!

Post # 10
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Aww, mums often have a picture of their daughter on her wedding day built up in their heads, and when the reality is different from what they had previously imagined, their first reaction is often to say they don’t like it, when what they really mean is that it’s different to what they had pictured.

My mum wanted me in a princess gown, but I was adamant I wanted to wear a mermaid. When she saw me in my mermaid, she eventually came around.

I’m certain that once she sees you in your gown in real life with the veil , she will think you look beautiful. I think your dress is absolutely gorgeous, and the skirt is my favourite thing about it!

I understand that you feel disappointed that your mum doesn’t love it – I would feel the same – but I really think she’ll come around and you should base your decision on what you love.

 

Post # 11
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

If your mom doesn’t like it, it’s a good thing it isn’t her wedding and she doesn’t have to wear it! She never should have said that to you! I love your dress!

Post # 12
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Im not in this situation with my dress, although I totally understand where you’re coming from. When I was just scouring the internet for dress styles that appealed to me before actually dress shopping, I remember finding a dress that I LOVED, was sure was my dream dress, couldn’t stop looking at, and I sent it to my mom, and she said she didn’t really like it. From that moment that she said that, I didn’t really love the dress anymore and now when I look at it, I dont really even remember what it was that I was so in love with.

My mom has been telling me for awhile now that I need to get heels for the ceremony and then can change into a little bit of a lower heel for the reception (but no flats). Ive had anxiety because I don’t want to be uncomfortable on my wedding day. I dont want to be thinking about the pain in my feet when I should be focusing on the ceremony, which goes by in the blink of an eye. So finally, the other night, I told her that I had found a pair of flats that I was in LOVE with (they’re seriously like princess shoes) and I was going to wear them for the whole wedding. She totally voiced her disapproval, in that voice that makes daughters cringe lol, and I just really had to stand my ground with my decision. And I did. And it has blown over. Obviously shoes are not as big of a deal as the dress, but try to go for what you love, and hopefully your mom will be okay with it.

Post # 13
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

oh hon..your dress is amazing and yes, I had the same dilemma, It really tore me up. I bought my dress about 8 months ago and my mom said the same things to me…it really hurt but I hung onto the fact that I loved that dress…but then I sorta had a melt down about it 2 months ago and almost decided to exchange it for another dress, but my mom felt aweful and said to me, let’s go in and put it on and see how you feel. 

So, I went in, with my mom and it was like eveything changed, suddenly she loved it as much as I did, and it was truly geniune excitement I felt from her. We picked out a veil together and ever since then my dress anxiety had 100% diminished. 

I say go with what you want and keep reminding yourself who matters in this situation. Yes, it’s heartbreaking when your mother doesn’t share your enthusiasm over something as important as your wedding dress, but in the end if you love it and you know in your heart you are going to knock your fiance’s socks off…then you gotta do what you gotta do.

Post # 14
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh my gosh..BEAUTIFUL!

 

My mother also isn’t agreeing with anything my fiance and I have chosen for our wedding that we’re paying fully.

Post # 15
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Wear the dress you love. It’s perfectly ok and normal for people to have different tastes and doesn’t mean at all that they hate YOU. You will be gorgeous to your mom no matter what you wear so it’s ok if she doesn’t like the particular style you love. You only get one wedding without any do-overs so pick what you love so you don’t have regrets down the road.

Post # 16
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I did not even SHOW my Mother my wedding dress until I came home for my wedding.

That way, she had nothing to compare it with, and could not complain ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

I chose a very unusual dress that was very, very me, and very UN my Mother. 

However when she saw me put together, hair, makeup etc, she thought it was beautiful, and could not have imagined me in anything else. 

In other words, wear what YOU love. Your Mom will be blown away by your beauty on the day no matter what.

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