Post # 1
Okay, so I have been reading the boards here for months, but I finally had to register so I could vent about this — my mother is out of control.
No, not out of control like I’ve read some MOBs can be, inviting a hundred extra guests or cancelling flower orders or anything like that. But she has her own special brand of wedding crazy.
First off, I’ll note that she is not contributing to our wedding. Not a penny. Which is fine — gives us more control over having things the way we want them to be.
But she is trying to turn it into her wedding. She has verbally invited guests and then guilted me into actually inviting them, she criticizes my dress, tried to get us to change the day of the wedding to a day she liked better, and is designing her own veil to wear to the ceremony. Because MOBs wear veils these days??
The latest thing is that she has decided that my cousin who I cannot stand is going to walk her down the aisle before the ceremony. As a single lady of a certain age, I get that her having an escort is probably appropriate. However I really despise this cousin and am only inviting him to the wedding in order to keep family peace. I cannot imagine him being part of the wedding to any degree other than a random guest, let alone posing in pictures and being part of the extended wedding party. I really want to put my foot down here, but I know it will cause an argument, and I don’t want to keep getting in fights with her in the weeks(!!) before the wedding.
Am I totally out of line here? Or is it my right as the bride to decide who does and doesn’t walk down the aisle? And anyway, shouldn’t she have asked me before she asked him to do it?
Post # 3
The cousin is already a guest at the wedding. If your Mom wants him to escort her down the aisle, that does not make him part of the wedding party, nor does it mean he is in any pictures.
The parents of the groom and the MOB are seated before the processional starts, unless your Mom is escorting you .
As far as any other interference, there comes a time when, if you are mature enough to get married, you have to be mature enough to stand up to your Mom.
Post # 4
OMG! That’s awful! I often fear my mom will show up in bridal gear too! I understand not wanting to make conflict. However, I think you have to put your foot down and just say “No!” to your mom. She’s getting away with…well…you know 🙂 Don’t let her ruin your day. Remind her who’s boss here, and that she doesn’t have to be there if she doesn’t like the way things are going. Sounds like she needs a dose of reality! Power to the Brides!
Post # 5
@teacherin200829: Thanks!! I so appreciate your comment. And I’m glad to know I’m not the only one whose mom has spotlight-stealing tendencies. It’s so frustrating and confusing. But you’re right, this is the one day where things can be just about how I’d like them to be — so I will put my foot down.
Post # 6
Repeat after me – “mom, this is my wedding, not yours!”
She isn’t helping you pay, but wants it her way? Sorry, doesn’t go that way!! Put your foot down, and keep it down.
I expected my mom to be this way, but thankfully she was actually awesome during planning. THe only request she made was to invite my great aunt’s and uncles, since my grandma had passed and couldn’t be there. And I love them, so of course that was a no brainer. I really wish other girls on her could have an awesome experience like I did 🙁
Post # 7
@HCaitlin: “SHRIEK”! MOB wears veils these days? I didn’t know that.
Elders are stubborn and always believe they are right. There is no changing that in them. The only thing you can really do is sit her down and put her on her place. MAke it clear that it is YOUR wedding and she needs to be more supportive of what you want and like. You also need to be straight with her about not wanting your cousin to be part of the extended wedding party.