(Closed) Mom Gets Daughter and Daughter-in-Law Same Xmas Gift?

posted 6 years ago in Holidays
  • poll: What would you think if your mother got you and your SIL the same, sole gift?
    I would be offended. Afterall, I am the daughter, and she is the daughter-in-law. : (13 votes)
    8 %
    I wouldn't mind. We are all family. : (112 votes)
    71 %
    A little confused, but I know my mom means well. : (29 votes)
    18 %
    Completely disrespected! My mom and I have known each other way longer than this chick! : (3 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    6222 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I think you need to take a step back- you sound very insecure saying “mom likes her best! Why are there not more presents for me?!”. It is very common for people not to get presents when they elope. It would have been nice for her to give you something off your registry, but she didn’t. It’s not like she’s mean to your Darling Husband or saying you shouldn’t have eloped. Getting your SIL the same thing is fine- you’re her daughter, she’s her daughter in law, and you both got a present. It’s good that your SIL got your mom a nice present if your mom doesn’t like her. It’s not like they are leaving you out of anything, just trying to repair what is broken

    Post # 4
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I think you are looking too much into this.

    This is how I am seeing it….

    SIL is kissing your Mother’s butt because people always strive to impress the Mother-In-Law and get on her good side for whatever reason….

    In turn Mothers will choose to be nice to their daughter-in-law for their son.

    So, yeah its annoying but don’t take it personally. This is a pretty common thing.  

    Post # 5
    5009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    My mum bought my brother and my husband the same present. Sometimes people just take the easy way out.

    I wouldn’t take it as a snub. 

    Post # 7
    4803 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    My Mother-In-Law bought my SIL and I one of the same presents too, and I can’t imagine my SIL taking offense over it – in fact, I’d be pretty hurt if I knew my SIL was complaining because she thought her mom should have bought me a crappier present, or gotten her something more. Sounds like your mom is trying to make your SIL feel welcome and build a better relationship with her – I really don’t think she meant to hurt you in any way. A bit lazy? Yes. But I think you’re reading way too much into it. You say you’re not ungrateful about the gift…but really? You pretty obviously are. Otherwise why would you say your mom is kissing your SIL’s butt? And if your mom’s present was good enough to mean she is kissing your SIL’s butt…then how is the same exact gift for you an insult and her trying to get back at you for eloping? I’m totally confused.

    And I don’t really know anyone who got gifts off their registry for Christmas…sounds like a separate issue to me. 

    @Cady:  +1 to pretty much everything you said.

    Post # 8
    11270 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @HootOwl:  i think you need to focus more on family and the spirit of christmas than on presents and who got whom what.  be thankful that you actually have a family to share the holidays with.

    Post # 11
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Flip it around.  If you received the same gift as your DH’s sister from your Mother-In-Law, would you feel bad that SIL didn’t get a better gift?

    Post # 13
    6830 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I don’t know considering my Mother-In-Law gets us all DIL’s the same gift every year and we are all so different. So I wouldn’t take offense to it.  Just means your mom took the easy way out and decided to get both of you the same thing


    Post # 15
    2638 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2006

    Your mom is probably putting a little extra effort in with her DIL to keep the peace. Imagine what your SIL might say if SHE felt slighted at Christmas. I definitely don’t think you’re being punished, your mom is probably just trying to keep the peace. 🙂


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