Post # 16
You can’t please everyone. None of my grandparents could come because of the location we picked. But we couldn’t pick a location where they all could come as they live on opposite sides of the country so we just had the wedding where we wanted.
We also had a Friday wedding, with a ceremony at 6:30. All of our elderly guests had no problem staying until the reception ended at 11. But even if they had wanted to cut out early that would have been okay too. Your Nana doesn’t have to stay for the whole reception of that’s too late for her.
As for your grandparents with dementia. See if there is a service like Visiting Angels in your area. I used to work for them and we could absolutely take on one time clients for a night.
Your mom isn’t looking for solutions (because they are there) she just wants you to change everything to suite her. Don’t give in to her. Offer to help find solutions and keep your date the same.
Post # 17
6pm really isnt that late (and considering its on a work day, its actually pretty early) my wedding lasted until 10pm and almost every guest stayed till the very end. Including both mine and Darling Husband 80+ year old grandmothers.
the grandparents with dementia might be a little difficult but there could be a compromise of them just attending the ceremony or even staying till the first dance and then leaving. (You gave the impression that they werent attending, but they technically could)
Post # 18
My 90 year old aunt was recently at a famiy wedding and had no trouble staying up much later than 6 PM. I know that she was so happy to be at the event and enjoy everything going on and then had a quiet day the next day because she was probably worn out, BUT she had some great memories to add to her treasure trove. Really, isn’t that better than getting to watching Wheel of Fortune and getting to bed early?
Post # 19
Thanks for the replies and advice everyone! I mostly needed to just vent about my crazy mother.
My nana (Dad’s mom) has my Dad to take her to the wedding and drive her back home whenever she wants — I’m not sure how this is even an issue with my mom.
As far as my grandparents with dementia, my mom has a whole year before the wedding to figure out plans on who will watch them during the wedding. We have two family-friend caregivers who come by for a few hours 3-4 days days a week to bathe, dress and feed them, etc. I’m sure at least one of them wouldn’t mind watching the grandparents for a few hours at night for my one special day? If not, like other posters said, there are CNAs, adult sitters, etc. she could hire from and she knows this.
This is just her trying to take over my wedding and make it all catered to her. Wedding planning is stressful enough without Momzilla trying to dictate everything!
Post # 20
My wedding was at 7pm on a Friday and it was amazing – sun hadn’t set yet, it wasn’t 100 degrees outside, and the party was rockin’ late. No one RSVP’d no because of start time!