- 9 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
This has been going on for seven months now. I need someone else to talk to about it because quite frankly I’m sick of crying to my fiance.
When I first brought the fiance around, everyone including Mom loved him. He did all kinds of things for her and jumped when she said to. Well one day he stopped jumping. The three of us went on vacation and he had to get home for work. Long story VERY short, we left early with my mom sulking, ranting, and screaming the entire way home (please keep in mind, I had asked my mom first if we could leave early and she agreed, she claims she doesn’t remember the conversation).
Since then it has been Hell. The first few months after vacation it was my fiance is the devil. “He treats me badly” “He’s no good” And on and on and on. I even begged my fiance to talk to her, lets sit down and try to sort this out. Well she basically said that he had to do what she told him and not disagree with her. But couldn’t answer his question of what he did wrong. I tried to play both sides, tried to make it work, but that was killing me.
Then my mom started playing my brother and sister into it. Calling him no good, he treats mom so bad (all lies), ect. (My fiance painted the kitchen for her, grocery shopped, planted her garden, ect. ect. ect.) She even said she didn’t want any contact with him and that if he wanted to talk to her, he had to talk through my dad. Eventually I became fed up with the horrible treatment towards my fiance and started voicing my objections. That’s when I was “cut off” from the family. I had a huge falling out with my mother two weeks ago after she turned my phone off because “I don’t know who you are anymore. You could care less about me, I’m not going to your wedding. Pay your own way!” That’s just in a nutshell. The story is a lot longer and uglier than this. I haven’t really had a conversation with my mom since then (that is SO hard since she used to be my best friend for 27 years). She recently posted insulting things about my fiance on Facebook (which she, btw, unfriended me). I’ve been avoiding her like the plague and am at an absolute loss of what to do 🙁 My fiance and I are convinced she has bipolar disorder or something.
I can’t move in with my fiance as I’m a devout Catholic and for now I’ve been trying to go along like nothing’s the matter (she seems to like it when she gets to me). My mom’s been cutting me out of family functions. They’ve been going out on the boat without me, which is so hard to handle since that is a staple in my family. My sister recently told me that she wants nothing to do with the fight between my mom and I and that we need counseling. My brother thinks fiance is a creep even though my fiance has done nothing to him. It’s a complete mess that I never thought would happen. I thought it was going to be problems with the fiance, not with the family! My dad at least agrees with us but it really is a day to day battle. If you’ve read all this, I really appreciate it because I’m so so tired of it and we’ve still got 11 months to go 🙁