Post # 17
Yeah, I mean, I only know what my friend is telling me. It sounds like (at least from friend’s perspective) that the mom is being really unreasonable. Just as an example, her mom was upset that he didn’t give her a diamond engagement ring, and said that he should have just charged for a big diamond.
Obviously ridiculous (and something that would have been really financially irresponsible), and I have no idea what the rationale is, or where the mom is coming from. She may just be concerned that my friend is the one financially responsible for everything in their lives right now, which I can understand, and she’s just not doing a good job of expressing that concern. There definitely could be more to it than what I know, but I’m just trying to listen as best I can and give the best advice I can.
Why do weddings always have to bring out the worst in people?!
Post # 18
I think you may be right that the mom may not even be attempting to hide her displeasure regarding FI’s lack of job and money. She may be hoping they will break up. Either that or she is hung up on appearances, a ring, a nice wedding, etc.
Post # 19
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Ugh, what a mess. I agree with “her involvement in their wedding and their life is conditional upon her treating her future son in law with respect and kindness.
Unless there are other factors, just having a less than desirable financial situation doesn’t make him a “bad groom.” She wouldn’t put up with Fiance talking that way about her Mom.
Post # 20
Oh, I am so sorry for you….. it’s interesting once you get married it’s amazing where the attacks come from. I recognize it is to make the couple stronger and become one. I agree you are better off letting the party address their own family, it makes for drama if you don’t. I hope yours gets better soon.
Post # 21
I do not anticipate any improvements on my FILs’ part. But as I’ve heard/read many cases where similar situations pull couples apart, I feel lucky that for my Fiance and I, we’ve bonded and came together due to our situation.
For that, I guess I have to thank my Future In-Laws.