(Closed) Mom hates my dress, any opinions or advice?

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 94
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sunny_days:  You look amazing in that dress.  It is so special and unique.  I love the cap sleeves because they make it so elegant and different.  I’m sorry your mom has been… difficult.  Stick to your guns.. this is your day.  I know it’s hard when moms say crazy stuff, but you need to make YOU happy first.

Post # 95
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@sunny_days:  Holy crap that dress looks amazing on you!!! I think you made the right decision. That dress was made for you. I cant even imagine how spectacular you will look with everything the hair, makeup and accessories. Girl dont let your mother ruin your day or make u double think it. You picked it for a reason and if you didnt want to take it off and kept thinking of it its because it was meant to be yours. AND THAT DRESS LOOKS VERY EXPENSIVE NOT CHEAP!!!!!Enjoy your wedding day and remember you cant please everyone.

Post # 96
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

Wow. Two things: (1) that dress is absolutely beautiful on you. It’s timeless and classic and fits you perfectly and you are going to be one gorgeous bride!; and (2) your mom sounds like a passive aggressive, self-absorbed jerk. But I’m guessing that’s not news to you, after your mention of the strained relationship. My mother is very much the same, so I know this animal.  ๐Ÿ˜‰  I put up with a lot over the years but, once I had my daughter, I had to cut the ties with her. She can be very destructive. I know she doesn’t WANT to be destructive (and I’m sure your mother doesn’t, either), but it seems impossible for her to do anything different, and my child, my relationships, my life are too precious to let her hijack them. I hope you can find a way to keep her at arm’s length for the remainder of your wedding planning – it sounds like she isn’t going to infuse the process with any joy. Keep your friends close and focus on YOUR day.  ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 97
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

You look beautiful! Its sad that your mother is not happy just to see her daughter happy, its even worse that your brother is supporting her instead of correcting her. 

Maybe try and have a heart to heart with her and if that does not work atleast you know you tried ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 98
Member
1639 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

The dress is lovely, and no, it doesn’t need any alterations. It was meant to be. ๐Ÿ™‚

Your mom isn’t getting married, YOU are. F her. Sorry, but…it’s your day. 

Post # 99
Member
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I know that this whole mum/dress thing sucks, BUT the silver lining is that if your mum had never started this whole thing, you would never have found your amazing dress that fits perfectly and is less than half of your budget! 

Post # 100
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@hermom:  Best and most useful advice on how to handle this situation! OP, I would take this advice into serious consideration. Remember this is your day and if you want to keep your sanity with no regrets, listen to YOUR own voice. She had her day. This is yours. Also, as for your brother, does he always seem to steer towards her side? I would use this advice on him as well if he does. Remember, you can’t go to a dry well expecting water. Unfortunately, weddings do bring out the worst in people. It’s going to challenge friendships ( I lost 3 friends during the wedding process) and make rocky relationships even more rockier (my mom and I had arguements but she just didnt want me to get married and Darling Husband mom and I we always hated each other so the wedding didn’t make it any better).

 

Post # 101
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@sunny_days:  Oh, so your mom likea to play the martyr. I’m sure she’s done this all your life with the guilt trips and subtle manipulation if someone made a decision she was not in control of. Just ignore it and go about your day. Don’t play into her games like when she says your family will just go on a walk if you don’t have space for them…it’s ridiculous and I wouldn’t even respond to her, just keep talking like she never said anything.

Your dress is lovely and your mom is just mad that she couldn’t control this decision. Tell her you’re sure she will get over it eventually like her parents had to learn to live with her choices as well.

Post # 102
Member
1001 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@sunny_days I think that dress is stunning on you!  If you love the dress you should get it, if you settle for something your mom likes you will not be happy your day and you will have dress regret.  I had a similar situation with my Future Mother-In-Law (luckily it wasn’t my own mom).  My mom lives 2,000 miles away to I had to go shopping with her and she just ripped apart everything I liked and I know it can be a terrible feeling.  But look at all the bees saying how gorgeous you look and your Bridesmaid or Best Man and you know it’s the right dress for you too, I say go for it!

Post # 103
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I can totally relate. My mother wasn’t a fan of the dress I wanted and insisted we go try on a few more dresses. She said the one I wanted was poorly made and not bridal enough. The ones she liked were very embellished and not completely my style. Well, I ended up sticking with my dress and last time I spoke to her about dresses and my choice she mumbled “figures.” Why does she care? I’m the one wearing it! Everyone else agreed the one I chose is very “me.”

 

I’d just ignore your mom’s passive aggressiveness. If she doesn’t want to help then that’s her issue and she’ll probably regret how childish she’s acting over it when it’s all over anyway.

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