(Closed) Mom is being a huge PITA.

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Honestly any pre-wedding parties given in your honor are gifts, not necessities. If your sister offers, great! But you shouldn’t be pushing her to plan it for you.

 

Post # 4
Member
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Couple questions. Did your parents offer to pay for this wedding or did you ask them? Do you even want this type of wedding or would you be happier with a less stressful courthouse ceremony or quick elopement elsewhere that you both can pay for without your parents input? 

Problem here is your mom, like many others, seems to feel that paying the majority cost entitles her to essentially say and do what she wants regardless of your feelings. Simplest way to eliminate this problem is plan and pay for everything yourselves. If that isn’t an option then you can try and talk to your mother about how you feel. If that doesn’t work you may have to accept that this behavior will likely continue until your wedding day. 

Post # 5
Member
30392 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
khaleesi19:  You know how your Mom feels. She is entitled to her opinion. That doesn’t mean you have to do or not do, everything she says. If your sister, or anyone else, wants to host a bachelorette, they will offer.

Post # 8
Member
30392 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
khaleesi19:  If this is the way your Mom communicates, it is a little unrealistic of you to expect that she is going to change merely because you are geting married again.

You can make a conscious decision to not let her push your buttons. Don’t react.

Post # 9
Member
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

View original reply
khaleesi19:  I sincerely wish you luck and hope it turns out well! 🙂 Honestly it bothers me when people offer to do something and feel they have paid for the right to talk to or treat you like garbage in the process. I believe in cheerful giving. 

Post # 12
Member
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Wow i’d be returning their cheque so fast. I agree iwth you – I don’t want to deal with that for another year!

Post # 13
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It sounds like you and your mom are not on the same page about what’s acceptable for a woman’s second wedding.  I kind of see her point, you are acting like a young first time bride and you aren’t.  That may be because you didn’t get the wedding the first time around or that you feel every woman should have a fairtale wedding everytime she gets married.   Either way, you aren’t on the same page about it, so I would strongly suggest that you limit any discussion of anything you “want”, “like” or “hope” for with her in regards to anything she doesn’t think is appropriate for a second wedding.  Share that with your bridal party or friends.  Mom isn’t going to change either the way she thinks or communicates.  So it’s up to you to not antagonize her if you don’t want to hear it. 

Post # 14
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Your mom is paying for a lot.  Traditionally, the bride’s family does not pay for the rehearsal dinner, the grooms’ family does.  STDs are not a necessity, and you can minimize the cost.  Possibly your mom thinks she has been generous and you have not been appreciative.   I don’t know what your sister’s financial situation is, but if she is still in school or living at home, she might not have much to contribute.  I think you need to stop asking for stuff, or even hinting, or saying it would be nice if ….  Or, give her the check back.

The topic ‘Mom is being a huge PITA.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors