Post # 1
When my fiance and I first got engaged and started counting up guests to get an idea of venues to look at, our parents both supplied preliminary lists of people they would like to invite. No problem there. Now that we’re getting down to the time where we are planning to send save the dates and finalizing addresses, we each sent our parents their lists to get the final info. Tonight, my mom tells me she’s taking people off the original list because she thinks they might get too “rowdy”.
The person she specifically mentioned is one of their neighbors (all their other neighbors will be invited). Said neighbor and I graduated in the same high school class, but weren’t close friends. He was a bit of a troublemaker in high school, but at 30, has a family and job and seems to have left that phase in the past. She also has mentioned her concern that some of my cousins will get out of hand. I’m not sure where any of these ridiculous ideas are stemming from. Our family does like to have a few drinks and laughs, but no one has a history of fighting, damaging property or anything like that. She can’t get this out of her head and it is driving me CRAZY! She even mentioned not having tall centerpieces, because she is afraid one of my cousins will knock them over!!!
She’s paying for a large portion of the wedding, so I don’t want to tell her to leave the list alone, but I feel like these people were part of the original list for a reason and I don’t want her to leave them out just because they might have a little fun. How do I get her to get over this? I feel like just because she doesn’t drink it means we can’t invite anyone who might have two drinks.
Post # 3
The only solution is to covertly get your mother drunk, at the reception and allow her to get rowdy and knock over the tall centerpieces…that way, she gets to be right…because it’s the ONLY way any of that crap will actually happen.
Post # 4
First of all, is she close to this neighbor? Just kinda wondering how he got an invite in the first place. But as for your mom, I don’t know of any good way to convince her other than just reiterating that you’re sure everyone will drink responsibly. Maybe share stories from weddings you’ve been to where people behaved like rational people?
Post # 5
@Nona99 – Great idea! She stresses out easily, so Lord knows she will need a beverage or two to take the edge off! I can’t think of a single person who would do anything like this as a guest at a formal event. And it’s not like our reception is at a random bar. It’s a hotel ballroom, so I would think it’s the kind of setting where people would be on their best behavior anyway.
@JenGirl – invites haven’t gone out. We’re just locking down the list right now. I don’t think they’re extremely close, but the neighbor and my dad stop by each other’s houses and chat maybe a couple times a week. I just think it’s odd that literally everyone else on the street will be invited, minus this one couple. I guess if they do end up not being invited, I’m not the one who will have to deal with the wrath of the neighborhood social circle 🙂
Thanks for the support ladies!
Post # 6
@redhead_bride82413: It would be hard to say anything without hurting her feelings, especially since she is paying a large portion. But ultimately i would let her know if anyone got too rowdy they would be asked to leave or something along those lines. Or there will be a drink limit maybe???