(Closed) Mom is bumming me out..

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Family gets weird when weddings come around – there is no other explanation!

Have you had a discussion about money and contributions? Maybe she thinks you’re just assuming that she’ll pay? Maybe she has money problems you don’t know about? I think it’s worth having a proper discussion about what is happening, rather than just talking around the subject. Once you’ve had that discussion you might be more able to answer your own questions about how to involve her.

The other option is to pay for things yourself. Unfortunately accepting money from other people always comes with strings. 

Post # 3
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

so ask her – ‘hey, i know you love fi and you’re happy about us getting married – so why don’t i feel anye excitement from you?’ don’t whine or yell, just tell her ‘i wish we could talk about this together, i’m excited and i would like your input’

maybe there’s a legit reason, or she doesn’t realise how she’s coming across, and honestly, i don’t think her saying that she’d like his family to contribute something is out of line. the ring thing is rude though, and i would have said as much – ‘that’s pretty harsh, you know how much this ring means to me’ should have done the trick. 

parents can get wierd about weddings – mine are awesome, super involved but not overbearing, let us make all the decisions but help us a lot, and his haven’t asked about planning in months and are super blasé. it’s a bummer – i feel you!

Post # 5
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

View original reply
NlovesM87:  I dont know if this is how it is- but some people like to offer to help and then incessently complain about it. I have people like that in my family. But if you try to change/alter/help to take some wedding stuff off their hands they look at you like you’re crazy! It’s seriously maddening. Same thing is happening (in a different way) to me AND one of my best friends also getting married. Weddings make people crazy lol. Just dont let it bother you (easier said than done) but thats what i’m trying to do.

Post # 6
355 posts
Helper bee

She sounds depressed..  I’ve been stressed, overwhelmed and maxed out emotionally at times and nothing could have broken through.  Even though there might not be money problems and it seems like her life is perfect, she sounds like she isn’t totally happy or knows how to be happy for you.  Don’t have an answer, some times it just is what it is, and I hopy YOU can enjoy this time and make it the best..and maybe she’s thinking of her first marriage, etc.?  I hope it gets better.

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