Post # 1
Hi Ladies, I’m a newbie, and reading the boards i found that I’m not alone in feeling like i am going to pull out my hair because of my mother!! I am was engaged in December, going to be married in June, and from the beginning my mom has been negative. My fiance and I hav been together for 6 years and he is a great guy, never had any problems with my parents. He asked my dads permission and everything.
We hav tried to do everything “right” by my mothers standards (we dont live together, finished school, he got out of the military, we both hav stable jobs and our own health insurance.). She is acting blind sided, like she had no idea that this was even coming. She seems to get mad if we make any decisions about the wedding without consulting her (we are paying for half), and she is jusy very negative about everything. When i tried to respectfully point it out to her, she denied it and said it was all on me and she would never act like that.
Everyone keeps asking me if planning my wedding is fun, and i keep wondering, is it supposed be, becuase all im looking forward to is the day after, when all this is over. I dont want to be bitter when i look back, but i really feel like my mom is ruining this for me. 🙁 The saddest part is all i want is for her be happy, and approve.. Iv already changed my cake, my guest list, the dj, almost the officiant, and basically my whole idea of an intimate, personal affair.
Post # 3
@Kandiss16: I totally know where you’re coming from. My mom is ruining this whole wedding planning process. When people ask if I’m loving all of the wedding planning, my response is always “if it was just me and Fiance planning, then yes, I’d totally be loving it.” But my parents are paying for everything and it all has to be directed/approved by her. She has ruined every “me” event so far. (The night before we went dress shopping she told me I should join weight watchers. Just 15 minutes after my makeup trial she picked a gigantic fight which caused me to cry and ruin $100 worth of professional makeup!) She seems to want to cause issues at every major turn. Thankfully we are wrapping up the invitations order and *crossed fingers* there hasn’t been a fight yet! PHEW! But man, I totally get where you’re coming from. I am looking forward to the day after the wedding too, where it can just be me & Fiance and our new marriage. You’re way closer to your wedding date than me, so be happy! Haha
Post # 4
hi 🙂 my mom is/was the same way. she disagreed with pretty much every single thing from wedding dresses to the freaking stamps on the save the dates. we pretty much disagreed on everything. i swear to you. i had enough of it because while i do need her (she is my mom and she is ‘right’ from time to time) i just couldnt take feeling like everything i decided was no good. at one point i felt like she didnt even like me or my taste or anything. and i straight up told her that. i told her how she was making me feel and we had a few good yelling matches, cries, and hugs that night. she told me i was acting spoiled & crazy i told her she was acting like a monster haha since then shes been really supportive and nice. i actually enjoy talking to her about the wedding when just a month ago i dreaded it. maybe you need to put your mom in her place. as horrible as that sounds thats what i did, and it worked for me. 🙂 deep down your mom just wants you to have the perfect wedding day.
Post # 5
@sarahbeth_: I might have to set her straight… its becoming waay too stressful to deal with. I just worry because our venue is her house!!! haha Hopefully we can come to a happy meduim of her perfect wedding day and mine! 🙂
Post # 6
ugh I so hear you! My mother is giving me anxiety attacks every time I speak to her. My Maid/Matron of Honor and her were just over at my apartment and, making small talk, my Maid/Matron of Honor asked her if she was excited about the wedding and planning. My mom’s reply: “No! I’m not excited! When I got married, we decided, then three weeks later that was it! We were married! I don’t know why she needs all this stuff anyway.” Meanwhile she sends me 3 emails a day with “ideas” and “suggestions” and calls me to talk about them for 45 minutes. She also just played dumb with me on the phone about “not knowing” how much money my dad said they would contribute and ended the conversation with “well, we’ll see about this!”. She makes me feel like having a wedding is such a waste and I’m an idiot for even wanting one!