(Closed) Mom is self-concious when it comes to picking her MOB dress :(

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

your wedding is in a year and a half…i think you can wait to find a MOB dress.

Post # 4
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Maybe just take her on a normal shopping trip,no MOB dresses involved,and encourage her to try loads of stuff on and that way she might get used to enjoying the experience and have fun trying new styles,and you get an idea of what she likes to wear and what shes comfortable in. Just an idea,I hope it helps!

x

Post # 5
Member
2889 posts
Sugar bee

After a disapointing search at 2 bridal salons, I encouraged my mom to order some dresses online from department stores (so she could return them in person) and try them on at home. My mom is the same as yours, grew up skinny until she had children and always trying to lose weight. Starting early is a good idea, especially if she’s shopping off the rack where you’ll need to consider seasons. My mom had a dress from Nordstrom’s and was able to exchange it for a smaller size when she lost a bit of weight. Ultimately, she liked that dress but didn’t love it and then she found a dress she loved once she had given up shopping. In the end, she was comfortable in her dress and looked great. My advice is to not put pressure on her but maybe send her some suggestions via email or encourage her to try dresses on at home where she can get multiple opinions and not feel rushed. I would discourage her from wearing all black and suggest a dark color which coordinates with your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
46326 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Give her a break and drop the pressure. You have a year and a half until the wedding. I guarantee there will still be suitable dresses out there. She is an adult and can be responsible for finding her dress when the time is ready for her.

Post # 7
Member
7423 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

I wonder if her hormones are working against her, ie perimenopause or actual meno?

Trust me when I say it can be danged near impossible to lose weight once those hormones go wacko on you.

I’d hold off on the dress for now, you have time & maybe mom can find a way to work on her weight with a doctor if it’s bothering her.

Post # 8
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I feel bad for her.  I feel like we’ve all been in her shoes.  Even with wedding dresses.  It can get very frustrating.  Don’t push her, it takes time.  Plus your date is sooo far in advance she may want to do something about it and plan on losing any weight that bothers her.  She has plenty of time, I know you are excited, but she probably needs time.

Also, keep in mind that brides don’t even get a fitting until 2 months before a wedding.  She has plenty of time for a MOB dress.  Why buy a dress now?

Post # 9
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My mom is exactly the same! Shortly after I got engaged we joined the YMCA together and we work out 2-3 times a week…together.  She’s lost about 15 lbs so far and the whole working out thing has done wonders for her confidence.  I know there really is no easy way to bring it up, but maybe you guys could start a workout routine together? If she’s working out and having fun mother-daughter bonding time, she might get more confidence in herself.

Post # 10
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with @sassy411: She could be going through some early hormonal changes. I can sympathize with her, if she is, because I too am going through this. She needs to see a doctor to know for sure. She will feel better about herself, if she actually knows what is going on with her body. Also, have her look into a product called Macafem; it is a natural supplement that supports Hormoal Balance. I just started taking it a couple of weeks ago, and it has helped me a lot.

Post # 11
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

My mom was having the hardest time looking for a dress she liked. We looked at at least 8 stores and still no luck. She didn’t want to order anything online but was getting annoyed with some of the prices at the MOB boutiques (3k for a mob gown? Uh no thank you!). We ended up at a small store which catered to bigger women and we found the perfect dress right off the rack, for under 300.

Just to put this story in perspective, we started looking in Oct. And she bought her gown 2 weeks ago! You have time don’t let the sales women pressure you or your mom! Good luck

Post # 12
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My mom wanted to wait to lose weight before she got a MOB dress, but then she just got some spanx instead!

Post # 13
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

You have plenty of time to look got MOB dresses. I would drop the issue and let her focus on losing the weight if thats really what she wants to go. If you start looking for MOB dresses this time next year, you’ll have plenty of time to find something and maybe by that time, she’ll feel more comfortable in her own skin. My mom hasn’t even really started looking for dresses for my Oct 2011 wedding. 

Post # 16
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Your mom sounds very much like my mom. My mom was 113 lbs when she got married, was skinny all her life even after she had my sister and I. As soon as the change of life hit her, she started to gain weight. She joined a gym and has been going 5 days as week for the past 3-4 years (she is 66 years old). She looks fabulous for her age, but is still conscientious about her weight. When I had asked her to try on some gowns, I had to beg her for 10 minutes. Once I got her to try on one gown, i started pulling other gowns off the rack and having her try them on. I told her that she didn’t have to come out of the dressing room just give me a yell and I would come in and take a look. I told her that I didn’t care what she looked like I wanted her to get an idea of color and style. FINALLY she hunted around some boutiques and found her dress. She is absolutely thrilled and is more motivated to get into shape.

I know exactly how you feel, and your post didn’t sound like you were pushing your mom into buying a dress. I think as long as you keep her spirits positive and you both can make the experience looking for a gown fun, she will feel more comfortable. I told my mom that even if/when she loses weight, they can always take the gown in. I think she was stressed because the gowns she was looking at were more for the grandmother of the bride, and she was having a hard time finding one that was more her taste.

My suggestion to you when your mom is ready to get her gown. Stick to the specialty dress shops. The sales people are more helpful in telling you what looks good for your body type/shape etc than the sales people at the mall are.

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