- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2010
Okay…so Jim and I have shared our plans for getting married in Savannah. Jim has never been married, and I’ve been married twice. As I said in another post, mom is not happy about our decision. She’s used everything she can think of to make me feel guilty and get us to change our plans.
Shortly after Jim asked me to marry him, I told him I was cool with the idea of going away somewhere to get married because I’d been married before I didn’t want all the fuss. I told him about my friend who had a destination wedding and how she loved it. He loved the idea and told me to go ahead and research some places.
So that’s what I did. I kept sending him email links to places we could go here in Michigan. I even sent him links to place in Hawaii, the Florida Keys, and Vermont. The only place he got excited about was Savannah. He thought that sounded really cool. Neither of us has been there, and the package deal I found is great. He said he liked the idea that there was lots we could do down there.
Well, before we chose I site, I had told my mom that we wanted to have a destination wedding, and she said that if it was close they could go. She said my brother and sister-in-law and their two kids would probably go too. Which was cool. We’d be happy to have them there.
But even then, mom wasn’t getting it. She offered to make a cake for us. She offered to let us use her back yard or house… The list goes on… And I think she really thought we would go for those ideas even though they are not even remotely like what we said we wanted.
Now we’ve made it clear we’ve selected Savannah. I know my brother and sister-in-law cannot afford to go. But we figured we could pay for mom and dad and Jim’s brother and sister (his mom and dad are deceased). Then afterwards, we thought we’d have a party and even renew our vows with my neice and nephew standing up for us.
When I was talking to my mom about it before my fitting yesterday, she said everyone was very hurt by our decision, that even though we were offering to pay for their trip, that she and dad would not go if the kids (my neice and nephew couldn’t go), and that no one understood why I needed a fancy wedding gown to get married in front of strangers.
I was so hurt… First of all, this is not my niece and nephew’s wedding, so if she and dad decide not to go because of them, then that is their decision. We offered to pay their way. Second I’m wearing the gown for Jim, not for strangers. Just because it will probably end up being just the two of us, that doesn’t mean I can’t look beautiful on that day.
Okay…so that’s my vent…
Thanks for listening. Sorry it’s so long…